My Daughter Really Hates Me.
My daughter has always been very strong willed and defiant. She is now 16 and my life with her has been a series of fights, power struggles, pain and misery. I have always considered myself a good mom. I gave my daughter the best I could afford, we took yearly family vacations, I was involved in all her schools, encouraged and supported various activities and basically put her first. Her on the other hand has been totally defiant. She has never in 16 years, cleaned a bathroom, her room, the kitchen or anywhere in the house. She sees me drive up with groceries and never offers to help. We have never cooked together,although I have asked her many times if she wants to bake cookies with me or make cupcakes. She really treats me like ****. If I ask her to do her homework I'm a *****. She most recently started dating a new boy, and has been spending most of her time with him and his family. She has known them for a month, and they are the greatest people in the world to her, because they don't "*****" at her. I told her that I loved her, I will always love her and when she wants to have a relationship with me, let me know. She replied "I hate you, we've never had a relationship, I don't like you. I don't want to be around you." No one is perfect and I am far from it. I am a bit of a control freak, so that's my issue. However, I have never abused her or done anything but protect her and provide her with all of the resources she needs to succeed. She appreciates nothing. She verbally abuses me constantly and is really making my life so sad and miserable. My husband has a different relationship with her, because he really doesn't care what she does. He's basically given up. I know that some day this will most likely pass, but I believe that the damage that has been done to our relationship is so extensive, that I can really do nothing but let her go and move on. Just like I never had a daughter. She is my only child. I so want to have a loving relationship with her, but it really seems impossible. We have been through counselling, and that never worked. I have worked at the same job for 17 years and have lived in my home for 18 years. I have always provided her with a normal, stable upbringing. She looks it as I am a "psycho *****", "a crying bi-polar freak". I am neither. Just a mother who has tried to keep her out of control daughter on the right path, and raise her with values and goal oriented. I see kids with drug addicted mothers who are never home who treat their mothers with more love and respect then my daughter treats me. Like my mother said "you can't buy her love". My daughter has always hated me. Why, I'll never know.