My 40 Year Old Daughter Is Saying Horrible Lies About MeMY 40 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS GETTING MARRIED IN MAY. SHE IS AN ONLY CHILD, VERY WANTED AND LOVED, HAD AN IDEAL CHILDHOOD WITH ALL THE ATTENTION AND CARING FROM HER FATHER AND ME. Since she went to college, she has been progressively making up stories of childhood abuse and lack of love from me and her dad. Since she's been an adult, she has periodically invited me to her home with wonderful plans of a nice visit only to insult me and accuse me of giving her a poor childhood when I am in her home. She lives states away so I am sort of stuck there waiting for my return flight, with no transportation out of her place. There have been times I have left in tears, vowing to myself never to visit again but then she always lures me again and it happens over and over. A few months ago she called me thrilled to announce she is getting married for the first time, to a doctor in Palm Beach and we happily talked of the wedding plans. Suddenly, out of the blue, she accused me of beating her, says she has photos of bruised hand prints all over her body. She was never spanked as a child by her father or me. I was over protective, if I had a fault. She says I always lost my temper and abused her which is a total lie. I tried to speak with her about her accusations but she refuses to give any specific details.....just general abuse and misery as a child and now claiming she has photos. After a month of distress, sleep problems and anxiety, I phoned her and asked to see the photos.....to which she screamed....why was I bothering her about this when she is so busy! Now I must attend 2 parties and this big wedding knowing she has most likely spread this lie among her friends, her fiance and his family. In the past few days, I've come to wonder if a personality disorder or mental illness is the cause and she actually believes what she is saying. But then there is the threat of photos....a dear friend I have confided in has made the suggestion that my daughter could have even downloaded random photos of bruises on the internet and with internet photo shops....who knows what is possible. I know that sounds crazy but how can she suddenly claim she has photos, after all these years and right before her wedding? It seems like an attempt to terrorize and intimidate me, destroy any hopes for me to enjoy her wedding celebrations.
I tried to be logical with her, saying that others would have seen these supposed bruises, such as parents of friends.....we lived on the beach and the children lived in bathing suits year round, school teachers, her dad (we are divorced and I understand she rarely sees him and refers to him in a derogatory manner to me).....but she refuses to discuss the logic of her accusations. I have already paid for my accommodations for a week in her town (prior to the accusations) because she could not "guarantee" I could stay at her home during the wedding week. I would sincerely appreciate any advice regarding how to cope with this uncomfortable situation, especially the wedding and parties.