I Used To Tell My Mom I Hated Her

i'm 23 now but when i was about 13-15 i devoloped this deep hatred for my mother for no reason at all. My mother i the best mother anyone could ask for. our family wasn't exactly poor but we werent rich either i guess you could say we were lower middle class. i came from a huge family 4 brothers and a sister i was the youngest. my mother gave us everything we wanted. since me and my sister were closest to her she always toted us around everywhere with her. when we were little she taught us number colors shapes even how to speak spanish as we got older she always bought us the best shoes for back to school even if she had to save up all summer. when we were teenagers i remember i really wanted this dress that we couldnt really afford but she went home and made me the exact same one. she always did things like that and still does. but for no apperent reason other than puberty and hormones i couldnt stand to be around her as a pre-teen. I just started hating her i couldnt even stand the site of her. i have this little journal from when i was 13 and theres even a part where it says i couldnt stand the way she laughs. i never wished she was dead or anything but i definatley was really mean to her. i started wearing black everyday i started wearing eyeliner just really started acting out against her. i even got a big poster of the girl from the exorcist and hung it up in my room just to **** her off. it started escalating so bad that one day while vacationing in mexico she told me we were going to a dr to help me with my acne to my suprise we were actually there for her to beg the doctor for help and to tell him that i couldnt stand her and that she didnt know what to do with me and begged him for any kind of medicine that would control my anger. i was so upset that i even went off on the doctor telling him he wasnt even a real doctor going so far as to saying that doctors in mexico dont even have degrees and are uneducated and dont know anything. saying he wasnt even a psychologist so he would have no idea treating my mental problems i mean i went on and on. when we left there i made the rest of her trip hell. the point in all this is i dont know where all the hate towards her came from when like i said she was the best. but the point is also that it IS a phase. no matter how painful it is to hear your baby girl(s) say these nasty aweful things to you i promise it will be over with some day. sometimes it just takes longer than others. i think the best mothers in these circumstances could do is give them a little space while letting them know at the same time that your their and ready for them when they decide to come to you. Even if they pull the whole "im running away to my friends house" bit. remember afterall that eventually they will wear out their welcome. we all know it is not easy to live on your own especially being a kid with no job or rights. i really wish everyone in this situation the best. please have strength and i really hope my words can help at least one mother...
muffinsbaby muffinsbaby
3 Responses Sep 17, 2012

I'm glad that in your case, especially for your Mother, it was a phase. For my 20yo Daughter who's been married for 3 years & adores her Daddy (my husband) it's unfortunately not a phase. I was a nurse supervisor & her friends told her she had the cool, pretty mom. Until I was diagnosed w/fibromyalgia, which she says isn't real & I make up the symptoms. In fact she hates me so badly I can't take it anymore- I'm ending the marriage w/her father who I married @ age 18 over 22yrs ago. I just want to live & die in peace now.


I am hurting bad right now because of my two youngest adult daughters . I too like your Mom would do anything for them and when they decide to get mad at me it crushes me!