Daughter Involved With A Loser

I have read so many of the stories out there - shocked at how similar they all are.  My 20 year old daughter, one of a twin has had a relationship with this person for almost 3 years now.  They have had so many problems in this time, the biggest being trust issues.  The boyfriend is a weed/dagga smoking, unemployed runt and scrounges from everyone.  They have continuous  fights about the smoking issues they land up screaming at one another to such a point that I have to intervene and calm them down. Then my daughter goes into withdrawal mode and speaks to nobody for days on end and hardly eats.  He broke off the relationship about two weeks ago saying to my daughter that he wants to revert back to the way he used to be before she started trying to change him ie: stop him smoking, telling him to find a job etc....he is a useless good for nothing piece of s*#t.  He is always so tired and has no energy to do anything.  When he used to sleep over at our house for the weekend he would only get out of bed at 11 or 12.  Then proceed to make breakfast, normally eggs, toast, coffee etc.....not even asking first, but assuming that he could.  Anyway the two weeks have gone by my daughter had a awful time but eventually started going out with her friends and starting enjoying herself and started behaving like her usual happy go lucky self, well that is until he contacted her and wanted her back saying he is a changed person and that he loves her.  She ran straight back into his arms, I was so angry, upset (moederloos) I gave her an alternative that if she gets back together with him that she must move out and let him look after her.  Knowing well that he has no way of doing that as he still has no job, he walked out on the last one saying everyone was treating him badly (shame).  My daughter has a good job with prospects of going somewhere within the company.  They are now living with his stepmother as his dad passed away about 2 years ago but the stepmother does not have a very healthy home life either.  She is involved with a married man whose wife has just had a baby.  I believe that the latest there is that this guy is divorcing his wife to be with the step mother, so he will be moving into the house with them as well.  I have contacted my daughter today for the first time in 3 days just to let her know that we all still love her and that she will always have a place at home no matter how long it takes.  I am hoping that she will realise what a loser he is sooner than later.  If there is anyone out there, that can give advise on how to deal with this I would be grateful.  
pammattheus pammattheus
1 Response May 11, 2012

Well you have done everything you could possibly do to let her know he is bad news but it just is not regestering with your daughter. All you can do now is let her go, she has to find out for herself now.