My Love's Deployed

so, my love left for a 7 month deployment early yesterday morning. i've heard the first 24 hours are the worst, but i never imagined it would be so hard.  it feels like i'm walking around in a dream. i can hardly breath most of the time. i was putting our laundry away yesterday and hanging up his clothes was so hard. everything is hard. i had to run an errand and i took his car just so i could feel his presence. i can't stop crying. i pray for him, and for the strength to deal with this. i should probably mention that i have a 4 yr old son. he isn't my boyfriends, but my boyfriend is the best father figure he ever had in his life. i am also a marine, but my son's been very sick for the past 4 days so that's why i haven't been to work.  which i believe is making it worse. being locked up in this house is just making me sadder. all the memories of him, all his things.  i want to be strong for my son, but it's hard. sometime i can't control it and i cry in front of him. so i try and think positive. it's 7 months and i know when it's all said and done and he's with me again it'll seem like it was nothing because 7 months isn't all that long. but when i think of living day-to-day for 7 months without him, i go crazy. everything i do, everything my son does, will be with out him. is that selfish? i mean my  poor baby. not only did he have to leave his whole family behind, but he has to go to that awful place. and the day he left he found out a girl he knew in iraq died. he is so strong and brave, but i know it can't be easy for him. we had a wonderful weekend together. a co-worker took my son and we spent the weekend at a nice hotel in downtown san diego. we said amazing things to each other and had a perfect time.  i wish i could've paused that weekend so it lasted just a little longer. how do i deal with him being gone?
mtaluv mtaluv
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 22, 2007

wow this is just how i felt when my husband left.. he is gone right now! and I to have a 4 year old.Is he home yet?

I can't relate to having a loved one in Iraq but I was a milatary wife during the gulf war in 1991. I have so much respect for all the men and women who serve our country. I hope the seven months goes by very fast for you and that you will get to be with him soon! Take care and God Bless!