My Best Friend Zack

     Zack was my best friend and I had to put him to sleep yesterday. This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I feel very sad and guilty. He was 17 years old. I adopted him from a shelter about 16 years ago.  No one at the shelter knew exactly what kind of dog he was; they called him a terrier mix. He was white with tan spots, big brown eyes, a stubby tail, and little triangle-shaped ears (one stood up and the other bent down). For most of his life he was full of sprit - actually kind of wild. I'm not a very good dog trainer, and the best way to calm him down was to take him to the off-leash dog park. We spent several hours there every evening and met many great friends. Last fall it became very difficult to transport him to the park - his eyesight was failing and so were the muscles in his legs. We were still able to walk (very slowly) around the block every evening and made some more friends doing this. Starting last week, he couldn't even do this anymore.  
     I am all alone now and I can't believe how much I miss him. Friends and family have been great, and keep calling to see how I'm doing and offer their support. I can't eat and I can't stop crying. I put all his things in a bag in my office and can't look at them yet. Hopefully I will be able to do this in the future and they will bring some comfort.
     I feel guilty because he was so scared at the vet's yesterday. I gave him two tranquilizers an hour before we left, but I don't think they worked very well. In the vet's office, he was shedding a lot and his little hard was beating very quickly. The vet had to shave him in three places before he could find a vein he could use. I know it was time, probably past time, but I feel so bad for doing this. I am very grateful for the many years I had with him and know that I had more time with Zack than most people get.
 
jennief jennief
41-45
Jul 29, 2010