Today I Lost My Best Friend
My 14 year old wonderful big dog died today. She in many ways was my best friend and like a child to me since I am childless. I feel lost without her and my house does not feel like a home anymore without her here to greet me. She had cancer and I had her on steriods but even so today was the day. My kind vet saw me when I walked in and ran up to hug me. I don't think she has never seen me cry before. She let me pull the car to the side of the clinic and crawled into the back of the car and did it in surroundings she was familiar in which I am also grateful for. After she was gone I felt happy for her. No more pain. No more cancer. No more struggles. I felt sad for me. For a minute I considered asking the vet if I could go too...I live in chronic pain and don't want to suffer, don't want to be without her....but of course I have to go on. My life is so sad right now, hollow, empty, lacking much of the meaning it once had. The one entity in this world that loved me unconditionally is gone. I am alone. Tonight I will cry myself to sleep without her to lick my tears. Goodbye my sweet friend. I love you.