My Mother Causes Trouble Between Me And Family

I had recently re-connected with my mother a year ago. She had not spoken to me for two years for an inexplicable reason (I was unable to come over for a holiday because I had to work) and kept slamming the phone down on me if i tried to call her. Then, suddenly last year she sent me a card in the mail, saying she wanted to be back in my life again. I was leery but accepted the chance to reconnect with her.

But it's all gone downhill again and here's why.

My mother--for some reason, jealousy maybe-- had turned my teen daughter against me years ago. My daughter moved in with my mom (her grandma), then my daughter's dad (he and I are long divorced) so I was not able to contact her for a few years, unfortunately. When she turned 21 she reconnected with me and friended me on facebook. She recently had a baby and i was very excited for her, and excited to be a grandma.

Unfortunately, when i post any replies to my daughter's wall posts or baby pics on my daughter's facebook wall (I have seen the baby once so far), my ex in laws decided to intervene. They have started sending me nasty messages on facebook chat, jealous of my newfound relationship with my daughter, telling me to stop replying to my daughter's wall posts. She has a stepmother who feels threatened by me and insists that my daughter call her "mom". The ex-in laws spread nasty rumors about me, spread by my ex-husband. So the new wife hears all of this crap.

They've managed to turn my own mom against me, easily done, since my mother has never had a high opinion of me for some reason, and is easily misled when it comes to gossip about me. I must say that I have never been a criminal, never done drugs, never done anything wrong, so this behavor baffles me. But it has started in my teen years-- my mom not liking me-- and continued into my adult years.

My daughter seems happy that i post on her wall and "likes" my posts and replies back to me both publicly and privately. However my mom has accused me of "stalking" my daughter's facebook page. My mom is not on facebook so does not understand the concept of facebook and seeing updates which take maybe moments to look at. She tells me to "get a life and stop looking at my daughter's page". I tried to explain to her that if my daughter did not like me replying, she would un-friend or block me. None of that has happened so far.

My mom has recently claimed my daughter wants nothing to do with me. So far that hasn't been true. My mom claims that since the ex-in-laws do not like me replying on my daughter's facebook page that I should not do so. I feel I have a right to. It is my daughter and granddaughter.

Also, my mother orginally turned my brother against me with lies and rumor and even though he lives down the street from me, he will not speak to me. My brother and I still do not talk, unfortunately. My mother also gossiped about me to my own extended family so that none of them talk to me, either.

Well, today I tried to stand up to my mother and her toxic, family-splitting behavior. Told her how hurtful her behavior is. She told me it's obvious I have "anger issues" and should not be around the family, and hung up on me again.

So again, we will most likely go another two years or more without talking. I have a feeling they will turn my own daughter against me soon as well, and I'll never see my grandson.
grandmadog grandmadog
41-45, F
Jan 22, 2013