Hateful Family Never Goes Away

On reading all these stories I realize I am not alone with this awful feeling. See, even my name is Old Black Sheep and I'm here to tell you this problem never goes away, ever. I recently had to move back home with my demented Mother and Step-father due to cancer and not being able to work. I am trying my best to get healthy again so I can go back to work. I am going to be 64 years old this year, so I'm no baby. My Mother divorced my Dad when I was around 2-3 years old. Then re-married when I was 5 or 6 yrs old. It has been a nightmare ever since I can remember. I have two step-brothers that are the most useless humans in the world. In one's defense, he is paranoid schizophrenic and on medicine so he can't help it. I know part of his illness stems from this dysfunctional family life. My other half brother is 57 years old and lives 1,000 miles away but literally lives off my elderly Mom who has progressice dementia. She pays his taxes, buys tires for his car, pays for car repairs and he only works part-time and makes under $20,000 a year. His poor wife, who is my age, has severe kidney problems but tries to work part time at KMart to make ends meet. Meanwhile this step-brother is a weight lifter and has the physical and mental capabilities to get a real job, maybe two but doesn't want to.
I am living here until I can try to go back to work. I am on diability now and do not have enough income to live on my own with rents being what they are. And I had to mvoe to another State when I moved back in with them. I try to stay out of the way and in my room but they think because I do that I don't want to help them. Meanwhile I am trying to escape my dememted Mother telling me I'm mean, I don't help her, all I do is sit on the computer, no one likes me, etc, etc, etc. Them my low life step brother had the nerve to say I was the biggest freeloader in the family because I live here without paying rent. I buy some food and I earn my room and board everyday. But they are too stupid to see that.
I would do anything to not be in this situation. I cannot even identify with this family anymore. They are true hillbillys in every sense of the word and are very short sighted in word and deed. They think because I lived in a big city all by myself that I know everything. Ha - if I did know everything I woudl find a way out of this mess. I am almost at the end of my remission cycle and will be contacting disability on Monday to see what options I have. I hate living here. I feel like I am in prison every minute of the day. Nothing I do is appreciated 0 so I'm here to tell you if you have a family like this, the best thing you can do is get far far away from them. They are never ever going to change. I know it's hard, but I have to keep telling myself I need to do what is good for me and my health. I would like very much to "belong" here but that is not to be. No matter what you do, you cant argue with unintelligent people. I know my Mom and Step-Dad need 24 hour a day help, but I cannot be destroyed trying to provide it. It's that old saying " it's them or me"". I wish it were otherwise but it never will be.
OldBlackSheep OldBlackSheep
61-65, F
Jan 11, 2013