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Keep An Eye On Your Friends With Your Man.

My "loving" husband Who everyone thought was an angel along with me, used to worship the ground I walked on. We were so in love, or so I thought. For a while there though we were having a couple of problems, he started working more and I started feeling more and more alone and when I tried to talk to him about the way I feel he would always say to me, "what do you want me to say". I never got anywhere.

Then I started hanging out with friends instead of waiting at home for him to arrive home from work. When I wasnt there when he got home well apparently he became more and more lonely and decided to go confied in my "best Friend". Now this woman I raised 3 of her 5 kids for several years and they sometimes reffered to me as mum because I was, lets just say more attentive to their needs.

Anyway, he all of a sudden was really cold to me, like not just ignoring me but wouldnt hug me or anything like that and I noticed he was going around to her house to "help" her with the manly duties..... she was single. Also I seen when she would come around he would smile alot more and would pay more attention to her kids rather than our son. I questioned him and he swore on his grandmothers grave and our sons life nothing was going on and they were just friends. I told him I was feeling insecure and I would prefer it if he never seen her again, he put up a hell of a fight to keep her in his life. Eventually he said ok.

One day I found a phone and when I turned it on I seen messages on there from her and to her. Him asking her to send a photo of her you know what and her asking the same thing and the two of them calling each other sweet little pet names and saying I love you to each other. He tried to say it was about the kids, yeah right he must of thought I was stupid. So I rang her and confronted her about the situation and she admitted everything and then I went back to him and he seems to think he cant remember......how convinient.

Eventually he admitted everything she said; well most of it anyway and now I dont know wether or not to believe him aout anything anymore. I mean I know he isnt still seeing her cause I have made sure that I have eyes and ears all over town to watch him and he has changed his number and even bought a new phone with video calling so if I am ever suspicious about his whereabouts I can see on the phone where he is.

But I cant understand why I am still with him, so many questions float around in my head still. It happen for 2 months, over my birthday which we all celebrated together and over my 10 year wedding aniversary that we all celebrated together. One of her friends says that he just kept coming back and she couldnt get rid of him and I believe it. I think that he did have feelings for her although he says he didnt and doesnt know why he said those things to her. He apparently begged her not to tell me and the only reason he never left me is because I would cause trouble for them in the futre and would not let him see our son and that I would take the house and all I had to say to BOTH of them was "Your damn right about all of it!" 

Long story short, he had an affair with my best friend and now I dont know why he is back with me, I dont know why I am still with him and basically I am confused as all hell. What does a person do in a situation like this? Any advice would help I guess.

kate140879 kate140879 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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I ask myself the same question about why I am still with my husband. I guess the answer lies somewhere in my belief that the only real thing in this world is how we care for other people and I am not willing to give up on a relationship just yet. But I also have to ask - if I keep hurting over this, it may be time to move on. Take care.

I knew the day I asked my wife for a divorce it would be hell...she ruined me financially and STILL does not give me all of my court appointed visitation. I have not dated (not for lack of triing) since the divorce/seperation (8years) but I can face my self in the mirror....Best of Luck

Thats easier said then done when your in the same situation as me cowboy. I but I do see what your saying and yes I do agree with you.

Get rid of him...there are plenty of lonely men that are not afraid to commit. It seems to me that you both have become destructive in this relationship...