I My Husband Had An Emotional Affair
I have been married to this man for 45 years. We have had 45 years of a good marriage with no problems with infidelity. That all changed last year. My husband had an emotional affair with a married woman that lives in our neighborhood. She is 41, he is 66. He doesn't look or act 66. He is very good looking, is very vibrant and outgoing and has a great body (works out 7 days a week). This woman and her husband were friends of ours for the past 6 years. They have 2 boys (my husband coaches them in Little League) and they were at our house often (we have a pool and go-cart track that they love). This affair started because she was having marital problems and she said God sent her my husband to help her through it. It lasted for 5 months before I finally caught on. I realized that he was was being very sneaky with his cell-phone. No stored calls or past calls and it was always on vibrate. He collects classic cars and I thought he was in his garage every night working on them but he was there talking to her to late hours every night. They talked at least 10 to 12 times a day but diealed each others numbers at least 25 to 30 times a day (I can only assume it was some kind of code). The most I counted was 42 times in one day. They met a couple of times for coffee, or so they say. They both swear that no love or sex was involved, just two friends talking. When I discovered all this I put a stop to it by threatening to leave and ruin both their lives. They know that they are not to see or speak to each other (not even a nod, wink or wave) or it is over. I told her husband about this but he didn't seem to care. I really think he knew about it before I told him. He still is friendly to my husband, which is something that is very hard for me to accept. My problem is that is has been 8 months now since I found out and I cannot get this off my mind. I finally realized that for the rest of my life, she is going to be in my head because I don't know what I did to cause this or why it happened. He swears I did nothing wrong and that he just did a stupid thing. He begs me to forgive him and lets go on with our lives. I really do try because I'm 63 and don['t want to be alone. I would not be really alone. I have 2 children and 7 grandchildren who love me and only want me to be happy. Please someone, help me understand all these mixed feelings and tell me that I will eventually get past this. I feel like I'm going crazy sometime. If this can happen to us it can happen to anyone.