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Don't Feel Comfortable At Home Anymore

I realized today that I don't want to be in my home anymore. I m sitting here with our 3 kids watching tv and he is in his office watching something else. This is how it goes almost every nght. I would rather be somewhere else. I am only worth talking to when he has a problem or a question. Don't get me wrong, he is a good man but i feel like I am not worth his effort anymore. I hear talking to business associates and he sounds happy. He laughs and jokes but then nothing for me. I feel like a visitor in my own home. I guess I want to feel like I am important to him but even the dog gets more attention then me. He shows no interest in anything I do, I have been home from work for a few years and am planning to go back but he shows no interest in that either.
I think he would only show interest if things around the house didn't get done and then that would be negative attention. I feel lost in our relationship
krawkath krawkath 41-45 11 Responses Jan 26, 2011

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How about trying on some sexy stuff when he is in the room? walk in the bedroom with your body still half wet with the towel around your body...see how he reacts??? Do something different..

I'm going through the same thing with my husband, he's in the army and that's all he talks to me about when he gets home that or his stupid motorcycle. I usually do good with out all the lovey dovey attention but lately he's just been ignoring me and the kids. I have two girls (1 and 3). When he comes home he talks about work then what he wants to do to his bike and I shut it out I'm to the point of not even talking to him because what ever I say is either dumb or stupid or useless in his eyes. I let him go for a ride and all he could talk about was how that was the most fun he's ever had so this became a new thing he does every weekend. I don't get to do anything cause I'm always home with the kids he gets to go ride his bike and go to the gym but never has time for us. He ignores me and I ignore him the other day he asked what's wrong with you and I told him I'm tired of a dog getting more attention than me. It sucks it really does I know how you feel, you just have to be strong for your children. That's what I'm doing anyway, I've tried counseling I've tried marriage retreats but nothing works. I've had it and maybe its for the best sometimes you have to know that you tried and gave it your all its not your fault the other person doesn't care. You have to pick up and move forward with your life.

i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and suddenly, another woman came into the picture.. he started hating me and he was so abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn't know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so a friend told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster.so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn't believe in all those things.then he did the special spell casting for me. After 2 days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case you wanna contact this wonderful spell caster, his email address is ishvaratemple@yahoo. com

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Hi honey I'm sorry I totally heart you! Im in the same position now. My husband works from home. He would make excuses he is busy with work in his office downstairs and when he's not busy he locks himself and plays his video games until 11pm. Then he watches T.V in the living room till 1 am. Then he crawls into bed with his back turned to me. He pays more attention to the dog more than the kids and nothing for me.He doesn't go out with friends, he is kinda overweight and I've noticed he doesn't get ready anymore. (Like shower or make his appearance look decent) I am skinny, physically fit, workout A LOT and hate to say it but Im pretty hot (haha.) I hang out with my girls, get my hair and nails done, I do everything!! But he repeats this caveman routine and I know he's not cheating.
But with your husband, I know what you mean when he chats with his coworkers (other men) on the phone about business they laugh, tell jokes. Mine does the same thing.
But guess what, it's only a for a few minutes right??? He's home all the time with me and not going home to anyone else.
Be honest girl, it's not you. Men are just not emotionally attached. And maybe they are, but they just don't know how to react or express it. Thats their downfall. My husband just doesn't try his hardest. I don't even know how even has his job. IT's up to us girls who are feeling neglected to constantly be happy without his presence. I know it sounds awful but if your someone like me with kids, I hold on to marriage, because of the children. It makes me happy and to know I've got it, and others know I got it, we should never feel alone. Just don't go out and cheat, or attempt to make him jealous. I've had thoughts but nothing good comes out of that. Be good to yourself, I wish I could be there for you personally as a friend. :)

Seriously? You are preaching to the choir. Thats exactly how it is for me. Im 38, have 2 kids (2 & 5,) plus 2 nephews we've had custody of for 6 years (6 & 8). Mine comes home and hangs out playing games on his cell phone. I got marital help books for the bathroom; he actually plays on his phone wile in there. He says he "cant concenrate on reading long things at a time" because of some meds he's on, but yet he can read long articles online about motorcycles. There is no interest in me, or the things Id like him to do with me. There is very little interest in the kids, 3 of which are boys who NEED him to play ball out in the yard, teach them to use tools, paint a birdhouse, whatever. He gives us all the impression we are just annoying him and in his way. It got to the point where last year I started chatting iwth an ex boyfriend. I can feel for you. This is not the same man I married. He actually told me on our ANNIVERSARY this year (set scene) kids didn something funny, and I smiled at them as they walked away. He was standing there, too and actually SAID "If it wasnt for the kids, Id have done left long ago" on our 6 Year ANNIVERSARY!!! I can feel for you.

Wow!! I did the same thing. I got a Love and Logic for the marriage book and Men are from Mars, Women are from Venis, left them in the bathroom, but he plays on his phone or reads his gun magazines!! My husband takes no interest in me or the kids too. I am also chatting with an ex boyfriend and seriously considering an affair!! I really don't know what to do, but I'm glad I'm not the only woman out there who feels like this.

Ellie my situation is similar to yours, except for my husband only works during the day not when he comes home. I do everything, take care of the kids, do all the housework, school runs, i work nights, i do the gardening and make all the decisions. I am the only one who ever "makes" us up after an argument and now im sick and tired of it. My husband is a real jekyl and hyde and i cant live with someone like that anymore. At the moment we are not talking in light of our last "tiff" and this time i am not going to be the one to make everything better as the last argument we had was down to him in any case. He has often called himself "the lodger" before now, and well maybe thats because he doesnt get involved in anything which again is down to him.

The next time he flips that will be it. At our last meeting down the pub i said to him that i want to feel like a "wife" and not a bottle washer, well nothing has changed and i dont think it will. I am ready now to go it alone with the kids.

I feel the same way. I'm sick of being the strong one and taking care of everything and getting nothing in return.My husband works all day then comes home and works some more. I just want someone who cares and takes care of me and really is interested in me as much as I'm interested in them. Basically I have given up. Everyday I get closer to leaving :( But I wonder if that will make it better? Will I be happier on my own?

Is good to talk to him and let him know how you feel. Have a conversation with him. Give him time to see if he wants things to work out. Counsoling is good too. Try to talk to a good friend. Is not good to keep all this in your chest. Everyone deserves to be happy and remember you have 3 kids. Your kids want to see you happy. Hope everything gets better. God loves u

I'm in a VERY similar situation. Please, don't feel alone. Well- at least, don't feel like you are the only one suffering in this way

Yeah, I know how you both feel. I met mine on the internet and we did long distance going back and forth. He was romantic and we were going to get our own place together which he did! In a very rural part of his state and it was going to be OURS! He moves me away from making boo koo bucks (Vegas) and my family, kids and grandchildren, into this new house and keeps bugging me when you going to get a job? Well I get a job and the first thing he asks me is can you afford $800.00 of the mortgage ($1200.00 per mo.) You have got to be kidding me! Hell no, my name is no where on the title to this house although he don't work, does his own thing and leaves me alone all the time.........then ******* that I spend all my time in the house....so I go visit a neighbor and he goes all ballistic on me. Well it has been 4 years and I want out, but I know no one here except at work and can't afford to go anywhere else........I have one child left at home and out here in boom F..cked egypt can't afford to pay rent after all the bills I am paying, including his cell phone as he said he couldn't afford the land line anymore.........I could go on and on but he pays for **** in this house...........and there is not a damn thing I can do about it except leave. But where am I going to go...I know no one here and I am the matriarch of my family.............I don't make as much money working in a hotel as I did as a bartender in Las Vegas........I make in a month here what I did in one night there..........maybe he thought I was rich LOL...........sorry not really laughing....I hate it in this house with him..........but love Utah.....and not the money.....was a professional bartender, singer, dancer and now.........I just work, clean, shop for food and cook and spend my time in the bedroom cause he is too busy.........cant go in the living room cause his son moved back in and monopolizes the place..........and failed to say both these men are slob's!

Please....DON"T feel alone. You are not the only one in that situation . I could go on for hours about how alone , tired , and not loved or wanted I feel. I feel like a roommate most of the times.The only things that keeps me going are my 2 children. You have been blessed w/ 3 precious children . I hope your situation gets better. I hope you feel better . I pray for BOTH of us.