What I Mean By "My Husband Ignores Me"

I am reading all these posts and I feel all your pain.. My husband is so mean an abusive to me, I have been reading on line on the statements of verbal and mental abuse and thats what I am getting. He is blaming me for everything, not going/getting into school, and with that now not being able to go anywhere in life. He does not work, i am up every day at 5 and home at 6, i tried to help him the best i could, but when i said i had questions that he needed to ask the school he didnt want to deal with them so I guess thats my fault, my fault because im stupid and couldnt fill out a form. I am tired of taking the blame for everything, I cant deal with how mean and nasty he is.... He throws things, bangs things, acts like a crazy person, he is even starting to talk to himself... im so scared, scared for him that he is gonna hurt himself. I have no one to turn too, I actually just tried calling my priest hoping to be able to talk to him.. He doesnt call/text or email me anymore like he use too... Im so sad and so lonely, i know no one wants to hear me talk about this anymore but i am dying inside i really am... Honestly do not know hwere to go.... or what to do.... does anyone??? I am not a bad person i have stood by him threw many cheating situations, and one including a child that came out of it and i still stayed with him... With all he has done to me i have never been so mean to him,,, I do not understand... How is all of this my fault.???? oh god please help someone, please!

I think you are married to my husband, except the few times my husband does talk to me he lies. Lies about phones calls, money, jobs, friends, family....everything. And then denies it. It is more concern about people he currently works with, people he used to work with, people he met on business trips, neighbors, family... more than me. But I guess I ask for this treatment because I don't leave. I am afraid that my children, who are all grown will be disappointed in me an not talk to me. I know my parents will be and I can't have their final years, they are 89 & 87, being ashamed of me.

My husband is ignoring me more and more lately by finding little projects to do around the house. He's basically gone manic with it. I lost my job about 6 weeks ago now. Have little relationship with my family and none is in area except for one sibling who has destroyed his relationship with me and with another sibling. I feel like i have few friends and very little emotional support. I am looking for work but ever since moving here it hasn't been the same. I used to have lots of friends and work at jobs for many years now its the exact opposite. My husbands family are extremely negative and critical people. I dont enjoy their company but am basically trying to make the best of it. I really get no emotional support from my husband and he has probably told me five times in seven years that he loves me. That was only when i pressed him for it. I feel like i am reaching a new level of sadness.

Life waits for 'NO MAN'. It does change people and when was the last time you went on a ROAD TRIP? 'See some old friends,good for the soul'. Hate to say it but it just might be time to move on. Don't live 'his' life, LIVE "YOURS".

Hi,

I 25 years old, me and my husband have been married going on 5 years alreadyand we dated since we were 15....We have 3 beautiful children...two boys and a girl....and i just found out i am pregnant again. I am 5 weeks...we didnt want anymore children..but i didnt want to get my tubes tied...I was on the pill for the past 3 years and i still ended up getting pregnant....



I know he is upset cause he didnt want anymore kids...at least not now...but i thought he would get over it...because im already pregnant nothing we can do about it...but he is treating me and talking to me like crap....he comes home, goes to the computer, then lays down watching his shows until he falls asleep....He wakes me up during the night when he wants sex. I let him........but he doesnt aske me...if i am craving anything...and for a pregnant woman i want my husband to be by my side. ive been having morning sickness like crazy..and he complained the house was too messy...so yesterday i cleaned entire house..which is hard with kids at home...i even rearranged our bedroom....he came home and didnt even comment on the bedroom..and it took me 4 hours to do it...i should be taking it easy so i dont have a misscarriage....i havent had a dr.s appointment yet...so he is hoping the dr. is going to say im really not pregnant...and i was looking on craigslist to find people giving baby things away so he wouldnt have to waste money to buy things..make it easier on him..and he told me...."THINK NEGATIVE....PRAY DR. SAYS UR NOT REALLY PREGNANT THAT YOU JUS MISSED YOU PERIOD"....i told him ive been pregnant 3 times already...i think i know when im pregnant...but just the fact that he said that to me...broke my heart.....for the past weeks he has been making me cry ever night..and he isnt like that..fr 5 years we still acted like we just met..he is always huggung me and kissing me...i dont understand..i got pregnant..im carrying one of his children. not like the end of the world..and ireally want a happy pregnancy...i dont know what to do..

The comments about change are all great, because something has to change. Still, changing yourself will not bring him back. That is like saying a BJ will bring him back, or if you loose those 5, 10, 15 ibs, or if you get your degree, or if you get more friends, or if........ get my drift. Changing yourself or your behavior is fine as long as you are doing it for yourself, but the reality of the situation is that he has already left. He may be there physically, (or maybe not), but he is NOT coming back. To change under the false hope that it will change his behavior is just that FALSE hope.

Ladies give your self some credit. I man is not your everthing and can not be. He ignores you, then find friends and family or even god. The reverse right back to them and them seeing you happy can change things. Life is worth living and not setting home worried about what he is up to. Live Love Laugh.. U have to change to change what is going on.

I've been reading what everyone has been saying and my jaw dropped. I'm in shock because its like you have taken the words right but if my mouth. I've been sad and looking for answers to what I'm going through. Amid have come to the realization that my husband is an abuser. He's been emotionally abusing me for 5 years. Its just gotten way worse since we got married a year ago. Its like I dent know who I married. I can't do or say anything right. I can't even clean or cook right. He ignores me and when I too to him about anything he just Hs this black stare on his face. I will cry and pore my heart out to him and he says ' Oh no not this again' stop with this crap. He never hugs me or consoles me or comforts me. When I'm sick he never asks care of me. When I had to go to the hospital he wouldn't take me because it costs to much. S I had to have a friend take me in secret. I'm scared of him. I make sure I watch what I say just so I make sure to not make him mad. I stopped leaving the house and stopped hanging out with friends because it causes to much trouble when I do.

When we fight he throws things around the house and punches holes in walls. I try to leave and can't because he traps me in the house. I'm just waiting for him to hit me to hit me so I can move out. I'm sad and lonely. When I tell him I'm sad and depressed he says I'm just using this as a crutch for attention. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

I relate to all of these stories, and it sucks you have to chuck your marriage to fix your problem. I joined this site in hopes there would be a light at the end of a dark tunnel. Sadly, that light is just me catching the train to divoceville.

can I write on here and be nameless?

Hi all,

My common-law husband is ... similar i suppose. I feel neglected. I feel ignored. I hurt. I hurt so bad. I am 21yr old. He is 36 yr old. We have a 6month baby and he says its all my fault cause we have barely had sex even before i got pregnant. Lots of things have transpired in the past, some things of which I am not proud of. However, right now, we havent had sex in about a month or more even. He just wants sex. I feel like a tool. Like a thing. I cant' remember the last time i was carressed by him. Made to feel beautiful, loved, sexy,. Penetration. That's all i have gotten. and requests to give him a "heads". I want to feel like a woman. I want to be admired too. I want to feel loved. IN an argument we had some weeks back i shouted to him that if he doesn't make me happy, i won't have sex with him. He holds that against me. He says I neglect him. but....i feel so lonely. I feel so un-loved. I speak to him and he ignores me mos times. I get upset and he gets upset. He says not because he doesn't acknowledge that he heard me means he did not hear me. I feel like am talking to the wall. (at least with the wall i EXPECT no response). I have tried telling him how it is that I too am being neglected but.... in his eyes, his issue came up first, HE is being neglected and I... I am the bad guy. I just want my husband, whom i have a couple hours at night with, who takes me out on a date maybe, who doesn't hang out so much with his friends. I want my husband. I want to be made to feel beautiful and not just like a piece of meat whose "responsibility" (his word) is to please him sexually. I am so tired of being neglected. I hugged him today and said "I love you" and instead of saying anything, ANYTHING positive, he said "with all your limitations".I know he is talking about my not having sex with him for so long but ...how can I? when i feel like am being used? like a cloth... I feel like my head will explode with the pain, with the pressure. I cant' seem to do anything positive or good in his eyes. I can't even get an "I love you" back when i hold him and say it to him.

I find we argue about money and the kids alot we both have our ideas!

but he does ignore me when he gets home does'nt talk to me or our kids so I know he's tired and stressed and not into hugging etc! it does really hurt and after reading all your posts i feel comforted to know i am not alone on this! but like the chap said, blokes have no energy and cannot multy task like us women so if they are tired thats it! they shut down tilthe next day and do it all over again! we are closest to them so they do unfortunately take it out on us as we wives are the closest to them !

Hi every one!!!

And here i was thinking that its only me having this problem. I have been married for 11 years and have 4 kids. The first five years of my life were good. After my third daughter was born, I got a very very good job with utmost support from my husband as he used to cater to kids while i was preparing the tests for the job.

At this point i thought that now the hard part is over and we shall settle down. But oh, i was so wrong. Four years ago, he lost the job. He started ignoring me, snubbing me in front of his siblings, paying no compliments, no appreciation for the hard work (raising 4 kids under 10 with a responsible job), saying that the marriage was a mistake, drinking profusely and blaming me for all things bad in life, started coming very late and going to sleep imm. so not to talk to me.

I am 35 now, when i married i was 24. I gave the best years of my life to this marriage. I am good looking, intelligent, witty, was an ace student, dress well (Not praising myself, as thats what the ppl say). When ppl compliment him on his wife, he becomes uneasy and say some thing nasty like "Do u really think so, she is not that good" etc etc.

I tried every thing and talked to him. He says that he will do as he want and i mind my own business. I tried to ignore my duties to give him more time, but he treated me like a door mat.

Finally i realised that i have to seek my happiness myself without depending on him.

From the last three months i have started treating him very courteously, catering to all his needs without emotions. I dont pick up fights and when he is nasty, i simply ignore. I give more time to my kids, am happy in th job, seek old friends and have enriching talks, saw that i was 12 Kg heavier than when i got married so i go for walk daily, have revamped my ward robe and go to parlour regularly.

All this is making him uncomfortable, though he doesnt admit it. I am very confident now and in these few months, i look 5 years younger and healthy.

I dont know if i am 100% right but at least i am at peace as though i cater to his needs but without asking anything in return and that has made a huge change in my life as i no longer depend on him for my hearts happiness.

I would sure like some experienced advices.

help my hubby watches me cry and goes to bed i went out alone with no effect i am at my wits end with lonliness

help my hubby watches me cry and goes to bed i went out alone with no effect i am at my wits end with lonliness

We have been married 27 years and also got off track for a while. He would also leave the room in the middle of my sentence, etc. About 9 months ago, I stopped looking at what he was or wasn't doing or how I wished he would be and started looking at myself. I realized I needed to work on my own shortcomings and focus on being an unselfish spouse, doing things for him without any thought of anything in return. Wow! What a change! We are so close & so intimate now & happiness flows from every pore. We are both now acting in unselfish & appreciative ways towards one another. Oh, & I figured out why he used to walk out of the room mid-sentence. His father never did anything but complain about his work & other people constantly so when I would begin to complain about my day, he would flash back to that time & become uncomfortable. Things aren't always as they seem but I know that if we begin working on ourselves and being truly generous, wonderful things can happen!

Hi to all!! I have the answer to all of your seemingly troubled marriages. Firstly, I would like to let you all know that sadly this is sn ongoing issue all over the world today resulting in many broken homes leaving all involved hurt, scarred and led astray, especially if there are children involved. What all the women here need to understand that marriage is not the world's idea, neither is it yours. Marriage is a covenant created by one author and that's God! Therefore a marriage is guarenteed to fail if God is not included as part of the union. What you all need to stop doing is pointing at your husbands' faults, as hard as that is, and start addressing one by one each and every fault you have as an individual, spiritially finding yourselves with God, and fine tuning yourself as a woman of God and then as a wife. I know this because I was there and have seen the hand of God work supernaturally in my character followed by my husband's character. I have sought God with all truth and heart and He has guided me every step of the way, moved mountains and to this continues His good work in my marriage, even in times of me weakness! Everyday I praise Him for being good and loving us who are undeserving. So I will say to you NEVER GIVE UP!! Marriage is part of God's plan for maintaining a strong union with Him and His will in our lives. A final thing you must understand is that there is opposition and an enemy of God who is the reason ultimately for the failing marriages. Victory is in our God and there is nothing impossible for Him! Let me know what you think and leave a message if you would like further encouragement! I pray that all of you seek the face of God and trust Him wholeheartedly for your marriages!

Hi to all!! I have the answer to all of your seemingly troubled marriages. Firstly, I would like to let you all know that sadly this is sn ongoing issue all over the world today resulting in many broken homes leaving all involved hurt, scarred and led astray, especially if there are children involved. What all the women here need to understand that marriage is not the world's idea, neither is it yours. Marriage is a covenant created by one author and that's God! Therefore a marriage is guarenteed to fail if God is not included as part of the union. What you all need to stop doing is pointing at your husbands' faults, as hard as that is, and start addressing one by one each and every fault you have as an individual, spiritially finding yourselves with God, and fine tuning yourself as a woman of God and then as a wife. I know this because I was there and have seen the hand of God work supernaturally in my character followed by my husband's character. I have sought God with all truth and heart and He has guided me every step of the way, moved mountains and to this continues His good work in my marriage, even in times of me weakness! Everyday I praise Him for being good and loving us who are undeserving. So I will say to you NEVER GIVE UP!! Marriage is part of God's plan for maintaining a strong union with Him and His will in our lives. A final thing you must understand is that there is opposition and an enemy of God who is the reason ultimately for the failing marriages. Victory is in our God and there is nothing impossible for Him! Let me know what you think and leave a message if you would like further encouragement! I pray that all of you seek the face of God and trust Him wholeheartedly for your marriages!

Hi to all!! I have the answer to all of your seemingly troubled marriages. Firstly, I would like to let you all know that sadly this is sn ongoing issue all over the world today resulting in many broken homes leaving all involved hurt, scarred and led astray, especially if there are children involved. What all the women here need to understand that marriage is not the world's idea, neither is it yours. Marriage is a covenant created by one author and that's God! Therefore a marriage is guarenteed to fail if God is not included as part of the union. What you all need to stop doing is pointing at your husbands' faults, as hard as that is, and start addressing one by one each and every fault you have as an individual, spiritially finding yourselves with God, and fine tuning yourself as a woman of God and then as a wife. I know this because I was there and have seen the hand of God work supernaturally in my character followed by my husband's character. I have sought God with all truth and heart and He has guided me every step of the way, moved mountains and to this continues His good work in my marriage, even in times of me weakness! Everyday I praise Him for being good and loving us who are undeserving. So I will say to you NEVER GIVE UP!! Marriage is part of God's plan for maintaining a strong union with Him and His will in our lives. A final thing you must understand is that there is opposition and an enemy of God who is the reason ultimately for the failing marriages. Victory is in our God and there is nothing impossible for Him! Let me know what you think and leave a message if you would like further encouragement! I pray that all of you seek the face of God and trust Him wholeheartedly for your marriages!

Hello: I would just like to say to all the women out here; God loves you and I do too. I have been moved beyond words could ever say on your behalf. Just to know that the spell of "why me" has

been broken by every precious word of what you all have had to say has filled my heart over flowing

with compasion and a sense of real meaning. Women; there is a sense of meaning in all of this for

us. You have to know that we all have gone through this terrible ordeal in order that we become

stronger people. Please be encouraged and know that the tears you cry daily and nightly are not in vain. You will grow from all of this; you will become tough; and yes; you will eventually heal. Think of yourselves as angels of mercy; grace; and character. I know it hurts; I am everyone of you and you me. But don't give up; hold on and be strong. When it is all over, and one day it will be; you will discover that nothing was ever wrong with you; you were ok all a long. Listen to that small voice within that says,"Take good care of yourself". Detach from him. Take the attitude,"If you don't want me, I don't want you!" Women; he is not God! If he were he would have fixed himself a long time ago. Give yourselves a break; get into yourselves; fall in love with yourselves; become goal directed; and by all means become educated about the psychology and the dynamics behind why he is the way he is and how you can break free from this madning cycle of loving a man who either can't or won't love you back and begin to invest all your love and interests in yourselves. No man is worth you killing yourselves over! Not literally or figuratively! Give all that love; time; energy; and attention to yourself. Don't beg him for anything any more; have some self respect; make him see the error of his ways by setting yourself free. Unless you ladies do this you will be miserable for the rest of your lives and none of us deserve that! Stop worshipping him that just makes it worse and it makes stopping the craziness of it all virtually impossible. I am going through the same things as you are; but the only difference is that I'm beginning to stop; look; observe; and listen to myself and what I have to say about all of this. If he leaves me, so what! I don't give a rat's *** about that any more and further more, I realize I have options and leaving him is more than at the top of the list! It's time to stop crying; dying; and lying to ourselves about all of this. Let's be forreal about it all. All men are not like this; you know it and so do I. We can have men who do not treat us this way, but you must first begin to love yourselves. It starts with you first paying attention to yourselves. And If you want him to notice you; you have to pray and leave him on the alter of sacrifice. If it is meant to be he will not only stay, but he will also change, he will have to because you changed and that changes the order of the relationship. He will change for the better once you leave him to himself and focus all your love and attention on yourselves. And if for some reason he does not that's ok; if he leaves you that is ok. Because, once you get into yourselves and stop worshipping him; you will break the evil spell of always loving someone who causes you pain. Stay connected with friends; pray; do research about your original family dynamics and dysfunctional families; read about co depenent relationships between men and women; obsessive personality disorder; anti social personality disorder; narcissm; altruism; even why some women like us give birth to autistic children. My son has autism. I hope I'm giving out wings tonight to fallen female angels who can't fly any more. Also read about women haters (mysogny). I hope this helps everyone who reads it. And I have to mention this, please read about scapegotism; will help you to see why this happened to you and how to get out of it. Love you all; take care.

My husband and I have been married for 15 years. He cuts a single rose from the rose garden I designed and tend. He laughs and tells me that's all I am getting for our anniversery. I think he's a real ******* and told him privately in the car today. He says nothing. I told him our 2 boys are watching his behavior and they aren't laughing. He always complains about money but doesn't seem to want to make his business more profitable or take on a new project to earn more money. I am sick of his complaining. I told him not to touch me anymore and that I wasn't really even surprised he didn't do anything for the anniversery. I told him that this year I didn't plan anything because I thought he should for once. I'm sick of making the arrangements. He could've at least made dinner for the family that night...some gesture would've been nice. I'd like to be the one that's surprised for once. Fat chance!

man and women both are opposite,stop expecting just give give and give...life for a women is to work work and work...after marriage after kids ......no feelings.wife shuldnt hve heart they just need to be like a rooobbbbooooot...do as husband say no nagging,be slim inspite of hving 2 to 3 operations...never shout....life is comprimise only...live it or leave it.

I beg to differ. You can try all you want but they're stuck in their ways and they don't want to change. they like to just relax. sex is too tiring for them or whatever. don't think that some of the ignoring husband don't notice you, they notice but they ignore it cuz they aren't tryin to see all that. they see women as always wanting attention, blah blah blah blah

This is disheartening. I also came here seeking answers to a similar situation and to see so many women unhappy for the same reason is just crazy. Come on...does no one else see a common thread? It's easy to say our husbands are jerks and that they don't understand and that they don't want to understand, but the problem is that we don't speak the same language. It is ridiculous to think that we are doing nothing to cause any of this. Men don't open up like we do. You'd think that if we are doing something to turn them off, they'd say it, but that's never going to happen. And men will not open up until we find some common ground. If you find something you both like to do (or you just suck it up and pretend you like it), I think our husbands will be more receptive to issues that we have (as long as we don't come at them with claws bared). It will open communication lines. Until then, I have a funny feeling that my husband (and all of yours) thinks I do nothing but nag and nothing he does makes me happy. In most cases, it's nothing but a communication issue. I bet if you open those lines somehow, you'll be surprised at what he says to you.

Well, I have been married for almost 12 years and my husband ignores me everyday. If we are doing a family project (working on the house) and I need his help he will ignore me or take his time helping me. Its almost like he is trying to **** me off. If he is watching tv, quality shows like family guy, he won't even notice that I am talking to him. THEN, if he is in need of something I am suppose to answer him quickly. This is not the kind of marriage I want or deserve. As soon as I finish my degree I am OUT! I am counting down the months! I suggest you ladies do the same. Its not going to change. They are selfish jerks who can not see any perspective other than their own.

Wow, I have only been maried 3 years and I am going through the same exact things, it all began in our second year, and whats wors we hardly ever have intimacy, in a month its 1 -0 times he always has an excuse or when he doesnt have an excuse he turns his back and ignores me, I totally feel like a nobody to him.

My husband and i have been married 4 14 yrs i lost my youngest daughter she was only 17 yrs old i have another daughter 4 grandkids and she dont let me see them i am so loney and he has friends i had a couple of friends but he slept with them now i have no one i just dont know what to do i honestly belive he is still sleeping around any advice

Wow I'm in the same situtation as a lot of you. I have been married for 10 years I'm 31 and my husband is 32. We have 4 kids together from age 10 to age 2. My husband doesn't show affection outside the home or in. We don't hold hands, we kiss more like a peck when we go to sleep sometimes. The only time we really have sex is once a month and it may last 5 minutes then he says I'm tired and that maybe we can do it again later. I know deep down it will be in a month or so. When I brought up about us not holding hands or kissing he says we're not teenagers. Though his mom and he her husband show affection. They hug and give each other kisses in front of us and our kids. I then feel so weird because the kids think that they are making out when it's just a simple kiss and hug and wish that was us. It's like we are living in a marriage of coveince. It's almost like having a roomate with privaleges. This is so sad but so true and he thinks that nothing is wrong. I'm only 31 and don't want to look back when I'm 50 and say what the hell.....I'm just glad that there are other women on here that understand what I'm going through and it's nice to be able to talk about it or write about it on here. I've talked to someone about these issues and they didn't know what really to say to me. I'm like yeah now you see you I'm going through.

I want someone to love and loves me back!!

I think I can relate.. Mywife has done the same to me............... and I love sex...whatever that was??