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His Daughter Is Destroying Us

My husband and I have a long history, but we have been together 14 years.  Last year his 17 y/o daughter came to live with us. He has seen her in over 10 years)  And surprise, she was preganant.  I bust my A** to make her feel wanted, do everyting with her and for her to have the baby.  She treats my daughter 11 like crap.  The baby has arrived and things are worse.  The kid has no respect for me, unless she wants something.  Her dad, well if me and our daughter talk to him it is like blah blah blah.  But little Miss I am here now talks the rest of us can kill over dead.  I have talked and talked to him about it.  Now I have taken to my room.  I spend most my time in my bedroom.  It is the only Drama free zone.  He allows her to do anything she wants, she leaves the baby every night to goes out.  I told him I am not watching baby all the time.  so I let him do it all. 

I am tired.  This is my house,  acquired from a previous marraige.  I dont' want to leave and let them figure it all out.   But I am so tired. of just exsisting.

forthelove forthelove 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 6, 2012

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Oh by the way, your step daughter is not destroying you and your husband, your husband is, it's his daughter ( Or yours together if you wanna consider that ) It's up to him to stand by you and say not in my house, not to my wife...He may want to make up for lost time and that's o.k. but remember that invisible line in the sand...That say's this is myself respect no one crosses ( I like to say except God lol )

What I do is pretend I'm standing with my back against the wall, Than a draw a a half circle about three feet from the left side to the right side of me...Outside of that line is my respect for everything in the world, inside that line is my own self respect for myself, no one get's inside that line unless they respect me as I feel I should respect myself and if they don't like it, they can just find somebody else to disrespect. Cause if you can't respect yourself, how can you expect other to respect you...And don't rearrange your life for your step daughter, for I'm a single mother that raised 4 children and I spoiled them to the point of having less than deserving respect, trying to make up for their dad's not being in their life's...But as years passed, I came to realize, we're in this boat together as a family and no one was owed anything. I think they respected me more when I found my own self respect cause I wasn't being a push over anymore and it felt good taking back what was mine as a human being...I call it the invisible line in my minds sand...Both your husband and your step daughter needs to respect your home, your other child and you...To me, home is where I go to get away from the BS from the world...I don't expect to deal with street BS in my home from anybody cause it's a form of disrespect from your husband, your step daughter and your other daughter will soon realize their getting away with things she knows is wrong, so she'll start questioning you and if you don't change it, she'll think why should she respect you when they don't when she has issues...Hope it help's...Sorry I'm a 9th grade drop out so my spell and stuff may not make sense...But I hope you know what I mean...Good Luck :)

do the same as she does,

she should feel the pain, what you feel now,

or

try to talk with them about it, and tell her everything, (try to be objective)