He's Emotionally Checked Out

My husband has made rules. One of them is that I can't ever talk about something I may want in front of or to him. So I'm constantly on guard lest I slip and mention an ad I saw for a washing machine. How is it normal for me to never mention wants and material desires to my husband?

Another rule is I can never mention something he has said back to him. Such as him telling me that I don't work since I am a stay at home mom.

Earlier tonight for the hundredth time I asked him to come to the kitchen while I cleaned after supper, maybe help. He flat out said no, played on his phone, and then went to play a card game with the kids. We haven't said more than a dozen words to each other in the past couple days. What makes it worse is, when we are visiting his mom, after the meal he jumps up from the table and starts cleaning without being asked. What the heck?!?!

Next week our kids are out for a week for fall break. He's planned a camping trip with them and is taking our oldest to a concert. I can't camp (recovering from 2 ruptured discs), and me going to the concert was mentioned and I was looked at with an expression of horror.

I just want conversation. Someone interested in who I am and what I think. To feel important and cherished, a priority.

To be told I'm beautiful, and that I matter more than anything.I don't know how much longer I can go on.
contraalto contraalto
31-35, F
5 Responses Oct 1, 2012

Hi, I really hope that you sort things out with your husband. It seems such a waste of years of you don't. I'm feeling the very same at the minute. My husband comes home late from work and never normally gets to sit at the table with me and our 2 daughter's. For the rest of the night he sits playing on his phone off iPad. If I try to talk to him I get his eyes rolling and an exasperated 1 word answer. It's like living with a member of my family sometimes, not my husband. He very rarely wants to have sex, so that makes me feel even more unwanted. We used to be such a loving couple, I don't know him anymore!

i just want to share my experience and testimony here.. i was married for 6 years to my husband and suddenly, another woman came into the picture.. he started hating me and he was so abusive..but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost…then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and i didn't know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so a friend told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster.so i decided to try it reluctantly..although i didn't believe in all those things.then he did the special spell casting for me. After 2 days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case you wanna contact this wonderful spell caster, his email address is ishvaratemple@yahoo. com

First of all i want to thank Alison for the post she made on how dr khakani helped her in bringing back her lover before christmas.At first when i saw the posting i was so happy and in the other hand so scared,That this might not be real, Then i decided to give it a try in which i contacted dr khakani and told him how my lover left me for another lady for the past 3years and i have been lonely without him,So i told him if he has helped anyone called Alison and he said yes, that was the lady he helped in bringing back her lover before christmas.i said good and i told him that if he can help me in bringing back my own lover,He laughed and said once i have contacted him that my problem will be solved.He said that my lover will be back to me within 24hours and do an unexpected thing for me. i said really, Truly when the 24hours was completed i got a text from someone saying am sorry then i decided to call the number i saw it was my lover Scott voice.i was so happy he was begging me on phone, That he is ready to do anything that will make me happy in life,So i told him to come over which he did,As he was coming he came with a brand new Car saying this is my christmas gift i was so happy and made me had access to his account to prove to me that he is not going to leave me for another lady,Am so happy today and am also thanking Alison for posting this early.Dr khakani you are truly a man of your word.Friends you can contact dr khakani on his private khakanibestsolutioncentre12@gmail .com or cell number +2348062216903.
Name: nancy jones

I feel & know your pain.

I have (thankfully) realized that there is one Man who can fill the void in our hearts...He is not like any earthly man (who lack sensitivity). I have found this Man to be my best help - He is Jesus Christ, the one who died for us all so we could be in relationship with Him if we choose so.

Some things that I do that help me process the bitterness and resentment I sense towards my husband due to his negligence:
1) Remind myself that Jesus Christ already loves me completely and much more than any human (including my husband) can
2) Forgive my husband for being clueless in this area and causing so much pain/hurt to me
3) Remember that the Lord Jesus is watching this marriage closely and is definitely not pleased when any husband neglects the wife. In fact, the Lord will ask the husbands to stand before Him and give an account of their actions/non-actions toward the wives...
4) I consciously choose to speak out of my mouth "I am a forgiving person, I do not hold grudges. I release my husband to the Lord's hands of correction and discipline. I choose to forgive him, he does not understand the magnitude of the consequences of his negligence to me. My feelings of hurt and anger/dislike may not go away overnight or in an instant... but I am choosing to not dwell on my husband's insensitivities (yet again) and choosing to trust in God's provision of unconditional love for me. I drop all charges I have against my husband for what he says or doesn't say... for what he does or doesn't do. I drop all my rights to get vengeance. The Lord has promised in His word to avenge me. He will help me. I choose love, I embrace life. I am fruitful and help other people. I overcome evil with good. I will walk in forgiveness, extend mercy, and hold my peace when wronged. The Lord loves me and I receive His love."
5) I fill my day with things I can do for other people... I bless others, including my husband.
6) I choose to be a person of purpose who goes about doing good to others and trusting that God will bring goodness and mercy into my life as well.

I shall remember you in my prayers.


Thanks for this.... it just makes so much sense.... I know it in my heart, but sometimes my flesh gets in the way :-)

This sounds just like my husband