I Have the Same Issues
I have been married for six years this weekend and my husband and I never do anything together. He got me to quit my job of twelve years to stay home and raise the kids, which I wanted to because I truly thought it would help our marriage. My job caused alot of stress on me and I brought it home. But now he gets up goes to work, comes home and takes a nap, and then gets on the internet to play his game. Some times he will speak to me in passing, 99% of the time it is just what is for dinner, will you get me a glass of Pepsi, or something like that, b/c he can't get up away from his game. I understand that he does work, but the game should not be played for seven hours straight. Take a break and play with the children.
He has a twelve-year old daughter that thinks he hates her. We have her at least three nights a week and they never exchange more than twenty words a day, if that. We have a two-year old son and a seven month old daughter, that really don't get the attention they need from him either.
Our son sleeps in bed with us and since my husband does play with him, when we go to bed he wants to play with daddy, and my husband get frustrated with him and just starts yelling at him. I don't know what to do.
I am still nursing our daughter, and when it is feeding time I try to sit in a room quietly feeding her, but my son will come running in the room with no diaper on, because he is trying to potty train, and my husband will not help with that. He tells his dad he needs to potty, but he says no you don't and just puts a diaper back on him. I am on the verge of stopping the nursing that way,when my son needs to potty I don't have to interrupt my daughter's feeding. It is just so annoying that he wanted the kids this close together or have none, yet he doesn't help.
I try and ask him everyday how was your day, and his response is nothing. Just goes into the other room. I fix him lunch almost everyday, and on the days I miss he gets so mad that he won't even talk to me. He doesn't have a problem telling what I have done wrong or that I need to put a bra on or need to brush my teeth b/c I have bad breath, or I missed this spot while I was cleaning. Why can't he ever compliment me. I brush my teeth at least three times a day, sometimes more, just so I don't have to here negativity. I only take my bra off when I am in the shower. I try to dress sexy for him again. I know I am at least ten pounds heavier than I was when we got married, but dang, I popped out two kids in two years.
To top it all off, my birthday was earlier this month and he didn't even get me a card. He still came home and played his game. He told our son to say happy birthday, but he never did. On his next day off from work, he got up early in the morning and went out with one of his co-workers for the entire day. I didn't want anything for my birthday other than some time with him, and he didn't give it to me.
Should I expect the same thing this weekend for our anniversary? I asked him if he would like to go to dinner and a movie, but he said it all depended on what he felt like. The last movie we went to see together was how the grinch stole christmas, back in 2000 on our first date. Come on show some affection. I have thought about leaving him, but I don't want my children to grow up in a broken home like I did.
People always say you fall for someone just like your father, well that is pretty much true in this case.
I use to be the nagging wife asking what did I do wrong and any other question you can think of, now I am jsut as silent as he is. When he comes home from work I leave and go to my mom's so that I can have some adult interaction. Thank goodness she is not that far away.