CANT Stand Him

This all sounds sooo familiar!! I have been on a rollercoaster since i got married! I am 23 as is my husband. We have been married almost 3 years. We have a 1 1/2 year old daughter who suffers from her daddys neglect. I dont know what is wrong with him and why he never able to care about anyone other than himself. I am a stay at home mom which i thought would be great(even though it was his decision for me to quit my job and do so)  but I am treated as if i "owe" him. I am expected to serve on him bring him drinks, food, clean up after him, do everything for him and not complain about anything that he is doing that is disrespectful to me. Simply because i have no right becuase i dont work.( I would want to do these things for a man that actual worked hard and was willing to do something for me) On top of all of this he ignores everything I say. He unlike many of your husband is not a good dad. He will not help me do anything for my daughter... he will not even get her in and out of her car seat... refill her sippy cup, or ANYTHING. He just comes hom plops in his recliner and talks about himself and what he is doing, or doesnt talk at all to me. And most of all my opinion DOES not matter. he does thinks without even asking me what i think or if i just tell him what i think than he never ever listens to anything I suggest. I am soo sick of it. Its so hard because he wants to have sex like four times a week and i cant even stand to look at him. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

mommy5107 mommy5107
3 Responses Jan 28, 2009

First of all, get a job. Period! He's trying to make you dependent on his income so that you are left barefoot and no way out. That way he has control not you. And don't have anymore kids. He doesn't want this one which is obvious, because if he did, he'd be a more involved parent. If you divorce him, he's not gonna pay child support. You're on your own. Get a ******* JOB and learn to earn your own money! Screw him! Learn to depend on yourself and stop feeling obligated to this *******!

Start treating him exactly the same way - ignore him, ring up your mum or daughter or girlfriends on the phone and chat away to your heart's content, talk non-stop to your daughter, ask her questions and listen to her answers, talk to yourself about your day or what you're planning to do, go on the internet, become engrossed in a novel at home and totally ignore the fact that he's come home from work, find all the things that make you happy - like movies, favourite songs, books, cooking something delicious - play your music loud or wear an ipod with earphones - take your mind completely off the ignoramus that's ignoring you and give him a dose of the same treatment!!!

I am sorry, Hon. Personally I don't think you should put up with this kind of behavior, but I put up with a similar situation for way too long, so I know it is hard to break away from where you are. Hugs.