CANT Stand Him

This all sounds sooo familiar!! I have been on a rollercoaster since i got married! I am 23 as is my husband. We have been married almost 3 years. We have a 1 1/2 year old daughter who suffers from her daddys neglect. I dont know what is wrong with him and why he never able to care about anyone other than himself. I am a stay at home mom which i thought would be great(even though it was his decision for me to quit my job and do so)  but I am treated as if i "owe" him. I am expected to serve on him bring him drinks, food, clean up after him, do everything for him and not complain about anything that he is doing that is disrespectful to me. Simply because i have no right becuase i dont work.( I would want to do these things for a man that actual worked hard and was willing to do something for me) On top of all of this he ignores everything I say. He unlike many of your husband is not a good dad. He will not help me do anything for my daughter... he will not even get her in and out of her car seat... refill her sippy cup, or ANYTHING. He just comes hom plops in his recliner and talks about himself and what he is doing, or doesnt talk at all to me. And most of all my opinion DOES not matter. he does thinks without even asking me what i think or if i just tell him what i think than he never ever listens to anything I suggest. I am soo sick of it. Its so hard because he wants to have sex like four times a week and i cant even stand to look at him. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

mommy5107 mommy5107
4 Responses Jan 28, 2009

I agree. Please help . I have a beautiful home as he has a great job. When he is home, I go neglected. Then when he is ready to spend time with me it is always on his terms. The house and hanging out with his buddies always seems to come first. He is gone alot for work. When he comes home, he spends the first day with me, and then the neglect starts. Examples-calling his friends, buddies over at the house and I'm not included, just expected to clean up after everyone. If there is a male reading this, please help me to understand why he is doing this?

I am 26 and my husband is 35. We have a 2 month old baby and I am nursing. I'm a stay at home mom and i work from home. My husband never helps me take care of our baby. he now sleeps on the floor. And worst of all. he let one of our employees move in. now they hang out all day and night. im like invisible. my privacy was invaded. i try to tell him today, but he try to argue.. I am tired of it. I want this marriage to work but it seems like he does not love me the same way i love him

Dear can't stand him...Get rid of the recliner...he has not earned it. No really, just get rid of it one day. Give it to good will, the salvation army, or whoever...then get a nanny and a job that you can do from home, that'll give you the best of both worlds.<br />
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PS You really need to learn about the communication circle---he doesn't hear you and you're doing nothing to MAKE him hear you. Take it from a man in a very successful relationship...your husband does not get it and won't unless you are very very very straight forward about it.

Do you think he would go with you to see a movie called "Fireproof" ? If you can find it showing anywhere near you...go. Take him with you. Make it a romantic dinner thing first and get him in a loving mood. This may soften him to actually listen to the message of the movie. It is a great movie to help couples identify themselves, thier problems, and the solutions to those problems. Sometimes we just get so self -absorbed when we are hurting, stressed, or dissatisfied with life that we have a difficult time seeing a loving solution (or the part we ourselves can play in that solution). Each member of a relationship has a part in the success or failure. Both parties must be willing to look at themselves and make appropriate adjustments in order to love the one they say they love (or loved, I say that because sometimes we loose sight of that love...but it is just hidden).