Ignored and Undermined
My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He's an awesome father but a horrible husband. He ignores me.
On a daily basis, we're both concerned about the kids, but he is a little overly so. He makes time to do anything they want, anytime. But if I even ask him to watch a movie after they've gone to bed, he just shrugs and leaves the room.
He never listens to anything I say. It's like talking to a brick wall. I work from home so I have no interaction with anyone else during the day and he doesn't understand how much I need some type of adult conversation.
On our 10th anniversary, I bought him a really nice watch and he got me nothing. Not even a card. On my birthday or at Christmas, he acts like its a big chore to buy me a present. I know he only does it because the kids will wonder why he didn't if he doesn't give me something.
I guess I feel like I'm missing out on life. I see my friends who have more compatible mates and wonder what it would be like to be married to someone who was my friend as well as my husband. He thinks all of my interests are stupid. I try to feign interest in the things he likes but that just makes me feel like I'm desperate, like I'm lying to get his attention.
I tell him how I feel but he just says nothing. His interactions with me in front of our kids involve a lot of teasing and belittling on his part. I just laugh it off so that the kids don't think anything is wrong, but it undermines me as a parent. He also overrules a lot of the rules I make with the kids.
I feel rejected. I feel like I am just a maid and a breadwinner and a homework tutor. Nothing more.
I would love to go to therapy but he won't even consider it. He blames everything on me. Its all in my head, he thinks. I've had some bouts of depression (mostly because of all of this) so he thinks anytime there is anything wrong with our marriage, it's all in my head! I'm not depressed now--I'm angry.
Deep down, I do love him. I just don't know how to get over the fact that I'm 36 and face half a lifetime of being ignored.