At first in a relationship you don't know what you are getting yourself into until you live with that person. When my husband and I started dating several years ago, I didn't realize the problem I was going to have to deal with for the rest of our lives. Alcoholics don't realize they have a problem. The times I would mention to him you really should get evaluated, he didn't want to see he had a problem. It is really sad watching a person let this take over their lives. I was blind for so long and finally saw the problem after moving together before we got married and had two children together. I noticed 6 packs turned into 12, and then even 18 packs A DAY. I was like seriously you have to get some kind of help. I felt totally neglected, lonely, depressed, and so many other feelings I can't even explain the hurt I was feeling. He finally started going to meetings in which did no good at all, as soon as the meetings were over, his next stop was the gas station to pick up his 12 pack of coors light. Gosh, I have so much to say about this I keep going back and forth, it's hard to go from day one to now. Well continuing suffering this daily struggle is tearing me apart. I just get so tired of watching him ruin his life. I just wish there was something I can do for him. He doesn't want to change and I want to continue supporting him. I feel like just giving up on the relationship but love this man with all my heart and can't bring myself to just end us. The only thing about being married to an alcoholic is that they pick that over anything else in the world. I just get hurt. I don't feel important to him like a wife should. I just really am writing this to seek advise. Maybe someone is going through the same thing I am and can help me fight this and make this better. I have so many important people in my life that need me to stay strong and they also want me to be happy. I am battling trying to stay positive in everything. I have goals in life that I want to accomplish. I just can have this weighing me down all the time. thanks any advise would be greatly appreciated.
ceeceepersi1985 ceeceepersi1985
26-30, F
1 Response May 17, 2012

I can only say that I understand completely. I have no good advice, or pearls of wisdom because I'm living the same strange reality that you are. <br />
I can say that you should not compromise your happiness by staying in an unrewarding relationship, but leaving is easier said than done. I can point out that your husbands behavior is selfish & he will probably never change, but you already know that. I know that you love him, want the best for him and are hopeful for the future. Living with an alcoholic is the most troubling, confusing and chaotic place to be. I've done it all of my life, starting with my mother. Staying positive is almost impossible, right? In fact, this way of life is robbing you of any life at all. <br />
So, again, I wish I could give you some magical way to fix things. . . I can say that you're not alone.