I've been married for 17 years to my alcoholic husband. His drinking is completely destroying our family. Tomorrow he goes to court for driving on a suspended license initially cause by his 2nd DUI and I am left to pick up the pieces yet again. He'll probably go to jail. I wonder why I'm still with him when every day is stress...I think it's because of the 3 amazing kids we have and I remember the wonderful person he was. At the expense of my happiness, I've stayed, but I'm not sure I can endure much more. My heart aches and my mind is a jumble of emotions.
winterqueen76 winterqueen76
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 18, 2014

I live the same despair. I'm so down right now I don't want to go on. Of course I have to because of the kids but I'm so tired. My husband also has PTSD. It got so bad I did make him leave for six months but he wore me down and I let him back hoping wishing he would change always believing his lies. I'm so stupid. I have my own career and will be financially fine, my kids are older teens so I won't be alone to care for small children. The house is in my name and the vehicle. I don't know what is wrong with me why I stay with him. He will be going to court for his second dui in April so that will be hell with no license again. It just seems so hopeless I feel so low.

Veterans affairs called us and is going to help with counseling. I think because he has PTSD from all his tours overseas is why I don't leave. We only have one child left living at home and she is barely here so this time around I've kept it from her. Today's Valentine's Day so something always happens when it's an occasion or a holiday. I hate my life