My Husband Is An Alcoholic Too

I have been married to my husband for 10 years. I have said I would leave so many times he doesn't believe me anymore. I was so glad when I found this group, I did join a Alanon group a few years ago, but the people in it were all much older than me and it wasn't their husband who was the alcoholic it was some other type of relative that they were not living directly with every day. I have never really met anyone who was directly living with an alcoholic who was actively drinking  and is my age. We have one daughter who lives with us who is 7, and he has a daughter who is 17 who does not live with us. The 17 year old totally gets it!. My 7 year old does not. She loves her dad so much and respects him more than she respects me. We live in an awesome neighbor hood that she just loves. I really want to stay in this house for that reason.  My husband is a union sheet metal worker in Michigan. There are no jobs and he was laid off 17 months ago. He is making attempts to find a job but does not want to go out of state. He is getting unemployment. I can not continue to live in this neighborhood without some help financially from him. Many people say well just file for divorce and he will have to pay child support...but truthfully it won't be enough especially not enough to pay for repairs and maintenance of the house ( he does all of these things). Then people will say well just sell your house... the problem with that is we owe more on our house than it is worth. I do not want to do a short sale due the hit it will take on my credit as we filed chapter 13 bankrutpcy 6.5 years ago. We ended up having to pay back 90,000.00 dollars within 5 years time. This also put a huge amount of stress on our marriage not to mention the drinking. The latter explains why I don't want to deal with a short sale. My husband has been to 2 counselors, inpt rehab, and AA regarding his drinking and he still can not quit and won't even try anymore. He is also addicted to cigarettes and pain pills. He comes from a family on his mothers side of severe addiction. Of course 10 years ago I did not realize any of this and did not have a clue when I was dating him...go figure! I need help financially so I can get out of this mess... you'd think that if I was so desperate to leave I would just do it... for some reason I just can't. I am so codependent is sickens me! Please, if anyone has any comments that may be of some assistance....I would really appreciate it!

slaterc slaterc
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 20, 2010

angel of <br />
Mercy always sits <br />
Next to you <br />
& <br />
Covers you with gentle <br />
Wings <br />
So that, <br />
You walk wrapped in <br />
God’s grace, <br />
Protected & peaceful forever