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He's Fat, and Getting Fattermy

i love my husband, fat or thin.  i'm 54, and he's 55 years old.  we've been married since we were 16 and 17, in 1970.  we have 5 wonderful adult children.  all are married, college grads, and have kids.   they are all are happy.  G has a good job that he loves.  we get along very well.  we know each other inside out, or so i thought.   i can't understand why he's allowing himself to balloon his weight.  he's 80-100 lbs. overweight.  it seems like he's getting fatter deliberately, because he eats nachos with cheese, and a big bowl of ice cream every night before going to bed.  he knows what it's doing to him.  he says he hates being fat, and hates his "apron".  it reminds him of his mother's "apron", and he thinks it's hideous (he doesn't like her, either).  he has had some sexual dysfunction during the last several years, which has humiliated him.  getting fat makes it worse.  but it also makes it so he is less likely to want sex.   fat people have sex all the time, but not him.  i know that sounds complicated, and like i'm a pseudo therapist, but i know him.  even if i can't understand why he would want his life to be the way it has become.  i miss G as i knew him to be.  i don't mind his fat belly, but i hate what his fat tummy and elevated weight is doing to him physically.  i don't want to lose him.  we've been married nearly 39 years, and we're still young.  i still think he's a handsome, sexy man under the fat.  he thinks i am a beautiful woman too.  if his fat ultimately kills him, and i know it will, i'll be devastated.
 

robyn robyn 51-55, F 5 Responses Aug 16, 2008

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GETTING FAT IS A TURN ON BE HONEST WITH HIM AND HE WILL OPEN UP TO YOU.

I agree.

It's nice to hear that a man is actually motivated to do what I have sugested to my own husband.<br />
I'm 32 and my husband is 23. I have always been thin. When I met him he had just lost a lot of weight. I figured he was on his way of changing his habits and everyting. As soon as we starting living together he started gaining some weight. The we enrrolled the gym. I go. He never goes. Our sexual life is nothing but a mess. Sometimes I think about him and I want to kiss him and have sex, but as soon as the clothes comes off I get completely turned off.I love him. I may sound like I'm a bad person, but I suffer also because of this. I want to want my husband, but he doesn't seem to care. I only heard him saying one day when we were shopping for clothes that he was frustrated because nothing looked good because of his belly. I sad! I want a normal life. I don't want to have someone else. I want him to understand how this affecs me and the relationship. :(

I agree, sex as a motivational tool.

idisoair, coffeemate<br />
i totally agree with both of you. i don't buy junk food, ever, but he does for himself. the icecream is going down the disposal. the gym isn't that far away, plus, there is exersize equipment in our condo, besides a pool. the fatter he is, the less he wants sex. i admit that his huge belly is a turn off. yup, we are going to make changes. now, if i can just get him off the couch...

Get him a gym membership sweety..............and dont buy junk food...........trash it immedietly if he brings it into the house.......................<br />
cheers