My Life

Hello! Call me Yoite, im 18 years old male from little Europe country called Estonia, and sorry for my bad english.

Well, when i was 3 years old my real father cheated my mother with another wife and left the house, when i was 6 years old, i got new step-father. For an half year he was nice and caring, but after half years the hell started. One day he came home, totally drunk, he went sleep, my mother came home from work and my step father woke up, and then he suddenly started to beat me and my mother( i ahve sister too but he didnt touch her) it was liek that for 3 years. Well and he killed my nerv system, and i started to stammer, this really ruined my life. Then i started to realize that when hes drunk hes angry, so everytime he came home drunk, i made some stuff so he wud start to beat me , to save my mother from gettin beated, it worked for 4 years, but then he started to beat my mother more, and few times, he wanted to slice her  troath, i dont know, i juz freezed into corner, listened how she was crying there, screaming for help BUT I WAS LIKE SOEM ******* COWARD IN CORNER LISTENING HER, and at the same time, i was in beaten in school 2 cuz i stammered, and even my teacher bullied me, when i tried to cummit suicide, i was dead for 1 minutes, but docs still took me back and im actually happy, but then i started to cut, it was everything for me, it helped me, and then i got computer, wich became my life, anime, games,chats and places where i can get this pain out of me, he attacked my mom few tiems wit knife, but lst time, he cutted her troath and then when i saw my mother, in pain bleeding, i lost my mind and i dont know where i got the power but i beated my step-father into coma, i broke hes back ribs hand and 1 leg, hes paralyzed in bed,  im isolated from other ppl, i live on anti-depresants, but im still an ******* coward, i wud have been able to do it be4 and why da **** i didnt do it?! WHY DID I SCARE HIM?! WHY I LET MY MOM TO SUFFER, IM AN ******* COWARD, FROZED IN CORNER LISTENING HER IN PAIN, I HATE IT, I HEAR IT EVERYDAY, I SEE NIGHTMARES BOUT IT, MY PAST DOSENT WANT TO GO AWAY.I really hate my life, i want to suicide but i cant, since i dont want my mom to suffer anymore.



Well, thanks for reading, im very pleased to be able to share this with soeone else, it really helps me!



Yoite

Yoite Yoite
18-21, M
3 Responses Feb 22, 2010

i read your story , looks like you went through some crap, i went through something like that and was afraid also my second stepfather had a mean streak ,i came home one day and caught him holding my mother by the throat , it was winter and i ran out of the house just wearing my boots and scarf but no coat . i ran for about 2 miles and hid in a drive way across form the police station ,and i saw my step fathers car as he was looking for me ,and not knowing if i went into the police station or not.<br />
i think it gave him a good scare ,and it never happened again.<br />
Hes lucky he was still alive because me and my sister whom he also abused were making plans to kill him. whew good thing we didn't do it.<br />
Anyway i know its not your fault and your no coward , you beat the sh*t out of him and good ! ,i was very happy to see that.finally he got what he deserved.<br />
looks like i'm the coward not you.<br />
Enjoy your life my friend and peace to you and your mom

Well, in this point i use an well known sentence, its easier to say than done, but ty

Hi Yotie. I understand your situation please just bare in mind that you did was to protect your mother and that thing of beating your step dad you have a depression and you couldnt control it.please dont worry and take care of yourself.<br />
<br />
Tsholo