Death In the Family

when i was a little girl my mother was diagnosed with cancer im not to sure any more what kind it was but i t was bad it killed her in less then 3 months i think i was little so i dont remember allot. we used to go visit her in the hospital and every time wed walk into the room id start t cry becuse we would all see our mother lyning on a bed hooked up o tons of cords and beeping things and it scared us all she could barley talk and she was lossing her har from chemo. the day she died we were all at school and we ahd no clue .. we didnt even ge to say good bye. well our father got the news first and brought us from the schol into his van to tell us wut had happened. we were all crying but my little brother but that was understandable he was like 4 at the time he didnt even no what was going on. so well he years went bye and we all slowly seemed to be getting over this sad but true act untill i hit highschool i was in grade 10 when my first reel wave of depression hit me. i thought i was going to die right there and then but i held out and i didnt tell any one and i was really scared but my mouth was closed for ever and then i met kelsey. she had quikly becaome attatched to me as i was to her we told each other everything. then one day i went into my depressed mood again and i totally cracked at everyone who talked to me including kelsey. i felt so bad for everyone who was around me because i was being so sour to them. i started to write poems about how i hated god and i wish he never took my mother away. kelsey got scared and she started to pull away from me so i let her i even some times pushed her away from me not thinking that i deserved a friend like her i didnt think it right to bring her down with my own problems so i decided to get rid of her as a friend. i became this dark deresse dlittle girl and i didnt want anyhting to do wiht any one. i was on the cheer eam that year. and i hid everyting form everyone. untill grade 11 when my world came crashing down around my ankles. i started cutting the summer before grade 1 and i tried hiding it till some one told ym father that i was. i didnt think that any one new about it so i was really pissed of. i ran around thinking that everyone was out to get me and i ddint want to be any one elses friend eather. till one day kelsey came up to me and aske if e could talk i was still mad and i thought that she was the one who told on me and it mad me madder. turns out i was right about it bu she confessed to me that she only did it to help me get outta this stage she was worried that i was going to kill myself.we talked and i finally told her about my mother and we cried together for hours that day i was scared to let any one in and it turn out that if i hadnt let her in i probably would hve died that very night.
krissylove krissylove
18-21, F
3 Responses May 23, 2007

So did mine well, A different reason it has been so hard, I am 12 now but I have so much stress on my hands I have a sister and my dad has been in bad shape. I just wish I could have done something but we are here for a reason and apparently her reason is due.

My mom died when I was nine from cancer. I battle depression as well. I never new it was depression. I never new anything was "wrong." I just figured that is the way things were... I am alot older than you. Trust me when I say Things will get better. You will see. I am sure you here this from allot of people. Well the reason is allot of bad things happen to allot of people. You are not alone. Try to hang in there, don't hurt yourself. You desirve happiness and you will find it. I did found it in my wife and my kids. One day soon something very good is going to happen to you.

I hope you are doing fine now :) best luck to you hugzzzzz