Today's Was The Day :(

Okay so...Awhile ago, my grandma moved in with my family. She is my mother's mom. I love her too peices, my mom says that I love my other grandma more because she buys me stuff. I HATE IT! Everyone believes it too! Anyways, yesterday my grandma invited me to go on a road trip with her today, It would take me out of school for 2-3 days, but my parents said yes and I was SUPER Excited! I never get to hang out with my grandma accept for when my parents are at work, and sometimes not even THEN because my grandma would have to work. I was sorting through clothes and I had a shirt laying on the back of the couch that was my sisters. My mom was made about that for a reason I don't know and started to yell. My grandma stood up for me saying that it was my sister's shirt so it was my sister's responsibility. My mom blew up shouting that my sister got the shirt from me yesterday so it was my responsibility since it got put there yesterday. I got mad and yelled back. I didn't know what to yell so i yelled no. When my mom left I started crying and my grandma asked me why and I told her the truth that It was NEVER my shirt I would NEVER wear THAT shirt. (It said LOL and had flowers, NEVER wearing that!) PLUS, It didn't fit my sister so my MOM put that shirt and a new outfit on the back of the couch for my cousin too look at... My grandma then went up and tried to calm my mom down, then my grandma came down huffing and helped me fold clothes. A few mimutes later my dad came down and said I wasn't going on the road trip. THAT WAS IT! I broke down sobbing. I don't know why but I just did! I hated the fact that my mom HATED me and her OWN mother! My grandma still left and then my mom came down and told me that I was so ungrateful and that she was sick and tired of my crying and attitude/ arguing with her. She said she was DONE! She has officially givin up on me! I cried and cried then I snuck upstair and grabed a new razor. People have told me that cutting helps so I went into my room and locked the door. I sat on my couch and cried while asking myself what would people say or what would happen after wards. I put the razor to my wrist and moved it across without breaking skin. I kept asking myself why I couldn't do it. I knew that It wouldn't help and that even though my mother hates my guts I still love her and if I hit a vein and lost to much blood I could die! I'm only young still, not even adult! If I died, I woukd've wasted the best present ever, life. Then I realised that it was her that gave me life, If she hated me then she probably thought I was just a mistake. I THINK I'm A MISTAKE TOO! She had me when she was 18 1/2.I bet I am a mistake, an accident. I bet I ruined their lives! She also told me this, "I came down here to apologize, I made this. I made this monster and I failed as a parent. I made you into this thing you are now. Do you like seeing me fight with my own mother? Does that make you happy?!?!" What she doen't get is that I am right her listening to her yelling and screaming and fighting with me. Does she like it when I fight with my mother? I don't.

Thank you for reading my story, this happen just today and please share your thoughts, good and/or bad. Tell me if I'm stupid if you agree with my mom. Tell me everything! I will read ALL comments to see what I should do. Don't worry, I will NEVER cut it just felt like a good thing to do. I know it won't help at all. It'll just make everything worse.
caitlynn00 caitlynn00
1 Response May 5, 2012

How are you today honey?