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Insane Lady!

I tried for years to get my mother in law to like me. The first time she met me me and my (then boyfriend) had been together for about a year. He warned me about her but i thought she cant be that bad! The very first meeting with her, she called me a dirty s*** I was dressed nicely, and me and my husband have been together since we were 15 so I can assure you he was my first! AFter that first meeting we didnt see her again for about 2 months, then went round her house. I was incredibly wary, but she was lovely to me, doing my hair, and telling me i was so good for her son. When we left she called her ex husbands wife to tell her how fat i am (at the time i wasnt, now its a different story lol) and how mentally unstable, and an alcoholic... I WAS 16!!!!! I had one glass of wine.

When we were about 18 we lived with his father in Melbourne. His father was recently put in a wheelchair so while he was off work i was looking after him till we could get him a carer. She called me abusing me and screaming that i was sleeping with his father, his brohter and his sister! Also told me that if i moved back to my home town she would have an unspecified bike gang on my faster than i could blink, ready to kill me.

About 2 months after that, I ended up in hospital with a heart problem, the hospital was in our old home town, so i was a bit concerned. She decided to come and visit me and was truly lovely to me. I was really getting confused.

Skip forward a few years to our wedding. Before the wedding she called and told us we were to have it in this really tacky seedy bar that she goes to. we told her politely that we had already chosen a venue but we would love her input on other parts of the wedding. She told us that she had decided she wasnt going to come becuase obviously we didnt want her there, otherwise we would let her decide the venue. We then got an acceptance letter from her a week later.

She called my mother before the wedding telling her that i was calling her weekly asking for money, and that she didnt feel comfortable giving it to me as she was pretty sure i am on hard drugs (i smoked cigarettes? hmm, and the wedding was hhalf paid by us half by my family) my mother told her there was no way i was on drugs, and she said... hmm you think you know her better than me i spose. She then disagreed with everything we asked her about the wedding and told us she wasnt coming another 3 times

So the wedding day came, and she showed up scowling the whole time, at the reception it got time for the speeches and as me and my husband stood up to giv eours she started wailing and ran to the toilet. apparently it was because no one thanked her for her input and help with the wedding! She told everyone there that she made the bonbonierre (nice wine with a photo of us on the label) including the aunty that made them! She raged at my mother for half hour about how inconsiderate i am and how much i hate her (at the time i still was trying to get along with her believe it or not!) We were staying at a local hotel before going on our honeymoon so she told us she was going ot come along, and grabbed her bag and asked us for a lift!

So after that there were a few more abusive phone calls and a few more lovely visits.

Then we got pregnant with our daughter.

She told us we were too young, she was too young to be a grandmother, then questioned if it were her sons. She threw a tantrum when we bought a cot, coz she didnt like the colour of it. She decided that we could have the baby 4 nights a week and she would have it the other 3.

Then she found out it was a girl. All of a sudden she didnt want to know anymore, it was like there was a switch that went off.

We went into labour and headed to the hospital and passed my husbands ex-stepdad (shes been married 5 times) who saw where we were going. His wife called the mother in law, and she was so furious that she wasnt invited to the birth that she didnt see our daughter for 8 weeks! By now we were living in quite a small country town where she too lived, so its hard to avoid one another for long, but she managed!

She missed her first 2 birthdays, her first 2 christmas' all with good excuses, that fell through when she forgot what she had told us before.

We are now pregnant with a little boy which she was thrilled about, but obviously there wasnt enough drama for her, so over this christmas period she has been creating even more trouble. We have since moved from the town and back to melbourne. She insisted we come to see her christmas day, but when we got there her husband let us know she had gone to a friends for the day. She has done this 6 times in the last 3 weeks, told us to come then not been there. But i found out she told my sister in law that its me that calls her and makes her run around then cancell at the last minute! ARHHHHHHHHH! she drives me nuts! any suggestions on what to do? i am stuck 

bj214 bj214 26-30 3 Responses Jan 11, 2009

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cut her off. out of your life. you don't need the mental abuse, and you shouldn't expose your kids to it either. There is obviously something VERy wrong with her, so until she gets help, you need to put a ban on her. She doesn't exist. I'm serious- I've had to do this with a malicious SIL, and it's sad cuz I don't get to see my nephews, but she is like POISON to our family.



Good luck with the rest! LOL, I feel your pain!

THATS BAD. I COUNT MYSELF LUCKY COMPARED TO YOU. MY KIND OF MOTHER IN LAW DOES THE SAME THINGS..

I HAVE NO ADVICE, I'D ALSO LIKE SOME ADVICE..

sorry all its a pretty long story, didnt realise when i was writing it!