My Past Has Left Scars

about 4yrs ago I was with a man who abused me (just typing that is hard) he use to physically and mentally ,emotionally abuse me and cheated and I see that even though thats in the past and I married an amazing man who I adore it still bothers me Im insecure I try to keep my insecurity to myself cause I know my husband would NEVER do those things. I guess apart of me feels like it was my fault why those things happened to me thats why I feel like Im not good enough for my husband and I let the insecurity take over even though I try not to sometimes I have dreams no more like nightmares and I see his face and hes trying to hurt me then the fear kicks in I just wish I could erase it from my memory I try to see it as a lesson learned and move on but the fear is what keeps me there

armywife26 armywife26
22-25, F
7 Responses Feb 8, 2009

Thank you =]

I couldn't agree with you more. No one should have to be put through that pain. No prob hun. I'm so happy that you finally found an amazing man. You deserve it. I wish the two of you all the happiness in the world :)

thats an experience that I'd never wish upon anyone I just hope that if anyone is going through it that they know to talk to someone and get out of it quick I was lucky to smarten up and know that it wasnt love and I agree he had no right and at the same time he took so much from me like my security but in the end GOD blessed me with an amazing man and Im so lucky <br />
Thank you so much usafsweetheart =]

That's completely understandable. It'll take some time. You truly are a beautiful person though and that **** had no right to do what he did. I'm so glad that you found an amazing man who knows how you deserve to be treated

Thank you and if you ever need anything Im here as for you to ..<br />
I try to put it all behind me its just difficult part of this is the explanation for the story "IM INSECURE" he tore me down so much that I dont see what you or anyone else sees Im trying hard to put it all behind me

That has to be hard. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF hun! You didn't deserve for that to happen. You're an amazing woman who only deserves the best in life. You shouldn't feel inferior to your husband either. You're plenty deserving of him and his love. He's lucky to have found you. Keep your chin up and try your absolute best to put your past behind you (although I understand how impossible that may seem). You're with a wonderful man now and you have nothing to worry about. Let go of the fear and be happy with the life that you have now :) I'm always here for support

I carry a gun now.