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Wish Time Stood Still

I was looking through the experience groups ...trying to find a group that would fit the idea of what I wanted to write about...then it came to me..
Why not create a group where I can simply ramble about all the silly things that come to mind? ..so I did! I don't really expect many to read these thoughts of mine...It will simply be a way for me to express myself in a way that I can't in real life...so here goes! ..

Since I was a little girl I remember being in a large group and wishing time stood still. I've always enjoyed observing people..I think most people don't realize just how much they let others know about themselves just by facial expressions or the way they react to certain things...


I was at a restaurant over the weekend ...towards the center there was a big family..with what seemed to be the grandparents..some grandchildren..and others in between...overall the family looked happy...the kids were running around...everyone was joking and laughing with each other...everyone except the grandpa..that caught my attention right away...
It seemed like all this was going on around him and his mind was somewhere else completely..he would glance at everyone every now and then...but he just looked so sad...

I can't explain what I felt exactly...but in a way...I felt I knew what he was feeling..
I wanted to have the power then and there to stop time.....to stop everything
To be able to go over to him ..
hold him..
and say 'everything would be ok'
Some people just need that....I wish for that often...I think the same thing every time I see my mother...she never seems to just STOP and see the world for what it is...she's always so caught up in what she 'should' be..or what the world should be like that sometimes I wish she would let me just hold her ...so she could pause for a minute...

So here I was...sitting at this restaurant smiling with my friends..while glancing over at this man..

When I arrived home I kept thinking how for that brief hour...my heart opened up to his pain...(whatever that may have been) ..
yet..

He will never know...
deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 20, 2012

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I’m not sure how I got to your page but here I am reading you experience and totally relating to it.

We were at a restaurant on Saturday evening with some of our closest friends and there kids 23 in all. As the restaurant was busy the waitress for our group had her hands full bringing drinks for all and taking there orders, the kids were all over the place totally enjoying themselves. The conversation between the adults was as lively as usual as we hadn’t been out as a group for sometime.

But it as if I wasn’t there I found myself browsing from one conversation to the next I’d take in a few words here and there but never joined in any conversation had no opinion to anything I was asked, I sat there as if I had no idea what they were talking about just glancing around. At times they’d ask me if I had lost my tongue as I usually have an answer for everything maybe not always what they wanted to hear, even if it’s just to get then all worked up.

I’m not sure what came over me or why I was in that mood or state of mind I don’t think it was in a bad mood, I couldn’t get myself focused on what was happening at the time.

They probably thing I’m an ***.