I Answered A Question and Found My Vocation

Someone here inquired how one got their job...I responded, '' I was born into mine.''

And I got to thinking about that response and it saddened me. You see, I am the Soul that is out there for others to kick around.

Not a pessimistic, just looking back and that was my Epiphany.

It began with a brother wanting to exert his sexual energy, I was three months old. That did not end until he went to 'Nam in 65.
Then my dad had a short fuse and a quick fist, began when I was five and ended when I left home at eighteen.

Then there was a series of ''Things Gone Wrong'' and I found myself in the path of rapists, during the times it Was a females Fault; she either dressed 'wrong', looked too pretty, smiled wrong...it wasn't the guys' fault she made him antsy.

Then husbands took up the mantle of Soul Kicker and if graded would of earned themselves an ''A'' I'm certain.

Do not get me wrong, it was not all physical, at times the verbal abuse was like a reverse band-aid, to make sure there was no healing. I still dislike seeing my reflection in a window, because it is like a recorder that replays, ''You're ugly, no one wants you, you are worthless, you will never be able to accomplish anything & no one could possibly love you.''

Now I feel too battered to carry on...and from what I have seen, not to be maudlin, nothing to merit fighting this On Going Battle.

cheysghost cheysghost
56-60, F
1 Response Jan 15, 2013

Chey,I know you are hurting so much inside and I wish I could lift that pain away from you.If ever you need someone to talk to I will always respond.Best wishes to you.......it sickens me that you have been treated the way you have....P