My Son and I.

I'm suffering big time with my son,Eric he's 21 years old, to,me he is still my baby boy,He's currently staying in my grandmother, house in other words he's staying in the efficency, my grandmother has but she has 86 years old. My grandmother is not well in the head, and she calls the police,every other day saying that she dosen't now who her grandson is and they harrased my son all the time my son cried to me ,he broke down crying to me,said mom I don't now what to do,I did not accept my son in my house because of the bad choices he's made,but it's hard for me because I want to save him,But my husband is 22 years older then me ,i'm 45 years old and my husband is 67 years old and it;s hard to get through to him,my husband refuses that my son even knows where I live and he tells me that if I bring my son to my house he will leave me, my marrige will go out the window, but at the same time thats my son.  PLEASE HELP I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?

jennyc jennyc
41-45, F
3 Responses Mar 24, 2009

OK jennic It is difficult to advise you to a certain extent with out the reasons why your son has been ostracised. There are a few points to make though which I feel are relevant. Your husband, (i'm guessing is not your sons biological father?) I really feel he has no right to lay down his rules as regards to whether you help your son or not. This is your decision to make and yours alone, he is your son and nothing not even your husband is more important than that. Although he does have a right to express his feelings as to whether your son is welcome in the family home, but still he should be supporting you with helping your son and overcoming what ever it is that has caused your son to make these bad choices. Obviously your son staying with your elderly grandmother is an extremely bad idea as it appears to be causing serious emotional distress to both her and your son. You need to seek some outside professional help. (There are many family services organisations that may be able to help you with this) before things get progressively worse. Best of luck.

Hi there, I think you really need to get some counselling. It is very hard for us to give advice, not knowing the whole situation. If he moved back with you, would you enable him to make bad choices? Has he changed? Is your husband your son's father or step-father? I think you really need professional advice. All the best.

Hi i'm new to this site. I am not really knowing how to navigate it just yet but I am trying. Your story touched me. I am wondering if your husband is the father of your son. It does make it more complex. Even then, it doesn't matter. What does matter here is the pain you are going through and I acknowledge that . It is extremely hard to go through that. Anything between a child and a husband is so hard. I will pray for you.