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My Wife Died And I Am Lost..............

My wife died on Jan. 23, 2011. She suffered so much in her last year I feel guilty that I could not help her. she was on dialsys and started having problems with her blood pressure, she was in the hospital and also had problems breathing. do to fluid building up on her chest. they could not dialize her due to her blood pressure being so low. the drs got her blood pressure up, but it was not safe for her to have full diasys at a time. (3 hrs was how long they normally did it. it made her sick too her stomache and by the time she felt better it was time to do it again.) Her being as week as she was they were having to do it every day and it was making her sick too her stomache everytime. She was so sick it there was no relief for her. on jan. 20 She told the Drs She didnt want it no more. Hospice brought her home jan. 20th she died at 932pm jan23. In lass than 1 year she was diagnosed with kidney desaese, congested heart failure. Hepiteaus C, Hiv, ( from a blood tranfussion in 2001.) block arteries in her legs. ( Had Both Amputated in September.) she was ready to go, I love her and spent 1.5 years taking care of her not working andput my life on hold. I watched her die in our home. to this day I close my eyes and still see her fighting for her next breath. I am lost without her. Since she has passed I have lost our house and everything we owned. we had three dogs and I have had to put 1 down give one away and I still have one. I am currently living out of my truck and have no where to go. I cant find work, I have no reson to live. I miss my wife more than ever. I just want to die
jacobstommy33 jacobstommy33 41-45 6 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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My Wife died April-14-2012, Everyone said I would be OK, but the pain gets worse each day,, I don't care much for life anymore, I just want to be her again, I know she is in heaven so I can't kill myself or I will go to hell.. GOD doesn't seem to care how bad I need her,, We had 35 tears of marriage,, We were planning to grow old together,, ,, BARBARA, I LOVE YOU ,you are my little bird so delicate and fragile, I NEED YOU
PLEASE COME BACK,,, I beg you Honey,, Please come home to me ,,
Your husband for evr and ever Allen

I am sorry to hear about your wife, It has been just a little over two years ago since I have lost mine. I hope you are doing as good as you can in these terrible times for you. I can say that through god grace and mercy he has made the pain of my loss easier to deal with. You are in my Prayers and Thoughts,

I know somewhat how you feel my wife past away September 1st 2012 and I'm not me anymore and I don't know how to get me back I think she took all my energy and love my heart and my soul with her when she left this world its like I'm living everyday just waiting to die so i can join her I'm always just sitting back blaming myself wondering what I could have done to change it but at the end of everyday I just look up at my dark angel and ask her... what? Are you mad at me or did you find someone up thete? Why haven't you found a way to get me up there with you I don't need the wings yet they can come when its my time I just need you. You were all I ever needed...

sending you hugs stay strong

thankyou

Jacob I really understand your pain - my wife passed on 5/30/12 with hospice at home - I was holding her hand as she took her last breath - 5 month battle with colon cancer, was just 43. My friend, I'll be honest - if I didn't have 2 kids, I wouldn't be here - I would have joined her. I truly believe now more than ever that we were soul-mates in every sense of the word - did we always get along? No - who does - but her love her essence is so strong, I cannot live without it.<br />
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My youngest will be out of college in 8 years - that's all I can promise this world - I hope she'll forgive me but I'm not as strong as she is, never been - I can promise 8 years, then the kids will be better off without me.<br />
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I miss her and I can't wait to join her!

I am so sorry for you. I send you my love; may you find peace and contentment. Try to find something outside of yourself, upon which you can concentrate. Can you believe in a loving God, who created the world and all of us as an act of love ? Think of our Creator who made us in love, and feel thanks for the time that we spent with the person who has passed. We suffer because we love someone outside of ourselves and that person passes. But when they pass they go in love with God; back to where we all originated when we were born. We were not born into this world from nothing. We came from our Creator and we return to the same Creator, where we find love and compassion and peace. We owe it to our Creator, to our loved one, to ourselves, to carry on living in this world. To give love and peace to everyone we can, to do good, to do God's will, until it is time for us to pass away. And then we too go to be with our Creator. One day, therefore, we will pass the same way as our loved one. We will all take the same path and will be with them in peace and love. Please try to remember that, and to do good in the name of our loved one. In that way we honour them, and their passing is no waste. I hope this assists you. I am not a preacher or holy man; merely someone reaching out to you, in the name of someone whom I adored, and who was lost to me very early in life. Peace be with you.

I feel for you!! It has only been 4 weeks for me yet it seems like he has been gone sooo long and yet it feels as if I was with him yesterday. I'm so lost I don't know what to do with myself. I cry every day! his pictures and music equipment is still here alone with all of his clothes. I can't bring myself to do anything with it. I haven't even washed his clothes because they still smell like him. I am stuck in a time warp and I'm not ready to get out. Does it ever change? Everyone says time will help but when you loose a soulmate it does not feel like it will ever change. Most people spend their lives looking for their soul mate and some never find them. I only had 6 years not nearly enough. God and his angels be with you and guide you.

Dee I am sorry that it took me so long to reply, I do not come here very much and recently I have and just now noticed your reply to my story, I do hope that you are doing better. I feel for you and know what how you feel. I wish you the very best. I have learned to pick up and move on. but I had time to prepare for her death, Sherry was sick for a year and a half before her death and 4 months she was in a rehab center due to her having her legs amputated. Altough she was in there and could not come home I was up there almost every day. but in time I relized that she was going to die. I guess that realization got me prepared. I hope things are better with you and once again I am sorry it took me so long to reply. God Bless You