Exhausted

This morning was another blowup before we even get out of bed. He wants to "coordinate" our calendars which basically means he tells me what he is doing soI don't interfere. He announces his schedule for the rst of the month, doesn't even ask me about mine, then gets up and says he's going to check his email and get started on his day. I may as well not even have been in the room. Since I wake up up already worn out from this lifestyle i get upset, tell him why and start to cry. He of course is stunned by this and wants to know what he did even though I just told him. He apologizes as always hen goes about his day. I don't even answer which he doesn't even notice and off he goes. 

Unfortunately, I tried to talk to him again about Aspergers again since I am desperate for us to solve our communication issues. He blows up tells me he does not agree, will never agree, I should stop diagnosing him and he will never become a clinical specimen. Within minutes he is going about his business as usual acting as if nothing has happened. He says he is going to the Y to work out and i am welcome to join hum. I say no thank you with tears streaming down my face. He leaves without further comment. he will be home in an hour or so and will expect me to act as if all is well and will be mean and hurtful if I don't/ I am completely exhausted from this routine. 


ckontosh ckontosh
61-65
2 Responses May 14, 2012

Will your aspie change or want to change ? I dispute that things can be that bad if you open the lines of communication and you get your aspie to want to change. But the change has to want to come from them.

Parts of your story parallel my life too (and most of us here).... tears and silence, more tears, more explaining, more talking, more frustration, more silence..... Silence like nothing in the world is wrong and I am neurotic to think there is. After all, this is all my fault that I feel this way... right?<br />
<br />
I cry every day too. I am mourning for the life I deserve and the life I should have had.... The life I THOUGHT I was getting. It is mourning, over and over and over... sometimes it almost feels like the death of my own soul.