A Little Too Goofy

Does anyone else have problems with their aspie being too ridiculous sometimes? Generally if my husband is in a good mood, I figure thats the best time to try to talk about things that might be difficult, if I try while hes already acting sour, he might end up in a meltdown or just shut down on me completely. So usually I try this when hes feeling happy, but sometimes hes just too ridiculous. I try to have a serious conversation, and all he wants to do is laugh and make jokes. I might say something like, " In all seriousness, we need to talk about the way you handle money, you need to check your money and dont just spend constantly or youll end up with money problems," and he'll say, "My money problems? Its our money, doesnt that make it our money problems?" Ha Ha.

Or he will just giggle and keep making ridiculous statements until I get to the point where Im fuming and then he wants to apologize and try to be serious when I shut down and wont play with him anymore. For example, yesterday, he was being a little too happy, goofy, fun-loving, which is quite a relief from his normal depressed self. But I suspected he had been drinking, which is a problem for him because he was an alcoholic in the past. He has managed it, but sometimes he will slip, I dont mind him having a few but he has a tendancy to overdo it and end up sick, or buy too much alcohol and drink every night for days. So I asked him outright when his behavior became annoying,"Have you been drinking tonight?" He says,"Ask me have I been to six flags lately?" So I do, which he responds yes to even though he hasnt, So I ask again, " But you didnt answer, have you been drinking tonight or not?" to which he replies, "Ask me the other question again." This continues about 10 times back and forth until finally I shut down, put my headphones in and tune him out. Then he apologizes and says he was just trying to have fun, but its not the first conversation Id tried to have with him since Id been home that melted down into ridiculousness.

When hes like this he also has a tendency to make absurd statements that hurt others feelings, like he may walk in the room, look at everyone sitting around watching tv and say, "You know I think I just may be too good for you guys." Or he was being silly with me and I said I wasnt in the mood, so he says, "When are you ever in the mood? Mrs, I dont have time to joke around." Does anyone else have problems like this? I know its better than meltdowns and maybe I shouldnt complain, but my god the man is 26, not 12. I would think he could have a serious conversation with his spouse about our kids, or finances, or school. But hes either too silly, or too depressed. I dont know which is worse.
Cindermoon Cindermoon
26-30, F
5 Responses Sep 8, 2012

Yes! stupid. I think he is non-responsive/depressed 50% of the time, a jerk 30% of the time, and stupid acting 20% of the time. For example we went to walgreens with a $5 off coupon. We had to decide what to get. I am looking around and he is yelling we don't need anything. this is a waste of time . . blah, blah. I am looking at baby stuff and he yells out HEY do you want some more boobie stuff .. while pointing at breastfeeding items. mind you I have not breastfed in 7 months. I should have felt embarrassed; but by now these things don't phase me because I am emotionally numb. Then he yells how bout soda.Then he says well you will prob. drink it all if we buy it. I say- no- I think ill put them on a trophy shelf and stare at them. he ignores me; I say ok, sounds good. We can get six cases. How about I take the baby to the car and the stuff. You buy the soda. He says ok; then he follows me to the car and I ask what he is doing. He does not want soda. ok, now we are not using the coupon. we go home. He sleeps/ignores us the rest of the day.

Oh boy do I know your pain.....I feel like I can't have a conversation with my husband most of the time. It's like talking to a teenager. I swear I am so fed up with him I could explode. He is a ****** father to our daughter which is really making me crazy. He isn't mean or anything, he is just not attentive to her and doesn't really spend a lot of time with her. If I had a lot of money I would leave him in a heartbeat. Yet when I imagine her being with him every other weekend and I recant ever leaving. I would not feel good leaving her with him for whole weekends just to be ignored by him. Oh it just SUCKS.

Oh boy do I know your pain.....I feel like I can't have a conversation with my husband most of the time. It's like talking to a teenager. I swear I am so fed up with him I could explode. He is a ****** father to our daughter which is really making me crazy. He isn't mean or anything, he is just not attentive to her and doesn't really spend a lot of time with her. If I had a lot of money I would leave him in a heartbeat. Yet when I imagine her being with him every other weekend and I recant ever leaving. I would not feel good leaving her with him for whole weekends just to be ignored by him. Oh it just SUCKS.

Sounds very familiar. I say to "my" Aspie that if he is going to act like a 6 yo then I'll stop the discussion. I have moments when I feel like I am going insane and that is scary.

Right there with you, Cindermoon!! And let me say -- I was getting irritated just reading your post. LOL That sounds like my husband and it eats me up inside. How do you tolerate it? I told my husband today -- I guess I'm just going to have to learn to grow a thick skin overnight. Otherwise, I'm going to go insane. I would think you'd be better off having a conversation with a brick wall. I'm so sorry you have to go through that -- just know that you're not alone, if that helps. *hugs*