I Don't Know What To Do

I'm living with a man with Asperger's and we're talking about starting a life together but I'm scared about starting a family with him. He doesn't have any anger issues and is normally a sweetheart. He tries really hard to please me and I love spending time with him. He helps me feel centered and makes me feel loved everyday. But he can't plan and frequently doesn't understand what is important and what is not. He sleeps a lot and will sometimes not do what he promised, including important things, because he is sleeping. When he screws up he beats himself up to the point I sometimes don't let him know that he did so I don't need to hear him talking down to himself or have him go off into his own little world. For the things we deal with as a couple this is fine, but I'm really worried about how he will handle kids. The tasks I will need him to do will be more important as will the cost of not having them done. He will need to deal with major changes to his routines and have less time for his games and puzzles. I don't know what to do.
Islandwonder Islandwonder
1 Response Dec 6, 2012

From my experience, you can do this, but aside from the financial help you may have from him, you will be raising the children by yourself, down to the last decision, as he will still be primarily doing his games and puzzles. My husband watched tv or worked in his yard and never one time played a board game or took the kids fishing or anything other than trips I planned and implemented. People say, "He is such a good father," but they don't realize that it was my intervention that held the family together - without that, everyone would have just drifted away, because he lives in his own little world and doesn't notice what other people might need.