Alone

This is the 4th night I have slept alone. The first night my husband asked about it was tonight. He did not ask why I am sleeping alone . . only "Are you sleeping down here tonight?" I just finished getting our son ready for bed, doing dishes, wrapping christmas presents (while he lay in the floor) and now I was folding laundry on the bed. He was playing on the computer in the other room. I said well, If you come put your folded laundry away I will sleep down here. ( He still has "clean" laundry on his side on the bed from when I folded some three days ago. He never put them away . . just started sleeping on them. His laziness and lack of caring drives me crazy when I work so hard to keep everything clean.
He said ok, then walked in the bedroom to get the clothes. When he saw me folding laundry he said "But now you are making more clothes to put away" He picked up a shirt and said , "This is still damp!" "No it's not" I said, "it is cold from sitting in the dryer". "How about a thank you for cleaning and folding all your laundry for you". No response . . .
He then proceeded to lay in bed with all the basement lights on and fall asleep on all the clothes. I am tired of this crap I thought to myself. I think I am slowly removing myself. I grabbed my pillow and head upstairs to sleep alone again. Does he notice . . .no, does he care . . I think not.
It feels good to have my own room, my own space to get away from it all. I feel happy to be alone. Happy away from him. I am tired of trying. Is this how the rest of my marriage will work? hmmm, anyone else have similar experiences?
jends jends
26-30
1 Response Dec 11, 2012

I really get this! We've just started sleeping apart and he is perfectly okay with it. Says he doesn't like being touched at night (which is why he always clings to the far side of the bed) and sleeps better alone. At first I thought... okay, that's the beginning of the end... then I realized that was a societal thing, sleeping together, and that sleeping apart might actually improve our relationship. It has, a little. And i LOVE having my own room! Love it! So I am learning that what works for us works for us and never mind "what people would think if they knew" -- enjoy your time to yourself! And the more I learn about Asp, the less personally i take this and many other "abandonments."

I like sleeping on other side of bed, because I get REALLY hot at night and can't sleep with all the heat, not because I don't love my wife, but also I am not the one with Aspergers. My wife is high level. Our main problem is her not knowning when shes being insulting. I hope you guys work it out, maybe explain to him the logic of why you want him to sleep in the bed with you and why it makes sense?