All Within 12 Years Of Hell

It began 2000 . My son Keith had a brain anurism , fortunantly he lived but was left with some damage to his brain as well as having two strokes and seasures. Since then he has not been able to work and he has suffered severe depression.
He is 47 and I have been his support system since that time as well as his sister for a time. He is now recovering spinal surgery and in a great deal of pain. He has filed for disability and been denied several times, he also sufferes with Bi-Polor. We lost our home as he has no insurance other than the county with very little . At this time I had a cracked pelvic in 3 places and drove to Texas to the hospital to my son's side.I was bedridden for months after this and my son was my only means of help after his anurism , it was Hell

In 2002 , Christmas my daughter Tambra was murdered , shot three times in the chest . They found her on the side of the road in Lancaster , Ca. I was in New Mexico at the time and when I got to California I began to ask questions and the police refused to talk, and still do. . This was the most horrendous thing that could possibly happen to any Mother and so very hard to talk about. They never arrested the prime suspect and after investigating it myself there was enough evidence there but the police refuse to discuss it all with me, her Mother. Litttle mention was made as she was a herion addict and not important enough in Lancaster Calif..She was 44 at the time.

In 2005 , I brake my arm and had several surgeries as they needed to cut of the end of my arm, reconstructing my wrist.
In 2006 my daughter Janet had breast cancer and has been in reconstruction ,she is left deformed as a result , the whole left side is caved in from the removal of her breast , both removed. Today we beleive her to be alright with the cancer but she has other health issues.
2007 Janet had a housefire ,lost it all, she also was in the midst of a horrible devorce which is still going on today.

As of today I have left with no money , no home, no car and extemely depressed as with my son and daughter . My son and myself have room with a woman in Riverside ca.It  couldn't be much worse , or could it I ask ?

We all know that God doesn't put anything on us that we cannot handle ? I think about the settlers , my ansesters .. and the deaths and trails across country to settle in the west
As well as that saying" what doesn't kill us makes us stronger ?" I have many questions for the Lord

I do pray and beleive in God and somehow rationalized that He allowed these things for a reason, but have a hard time with it of course.

It would take a miracle to fix all that is left of us since these tragedy's. So I can only pray that through these trials and tribulations I will somehow be able to say to someone in pain and suffering , ..just endure till the end is all I can say right now. God Bless us all !
MsOracle MsOracle
70+, F
1 Response Sep 24, 2012

I had to leave ep ,it was hard, it was so hard to tell. I cried tears for more than twelve years with my daughter over her life on herion BEFORE all this happened. My life has been the most tragic experience of just about anyone I have ever met, I assure you but as you expressed so well with the anger toward the police I steam and fume over it ,never to find closure. I don't expect much from life as it is and pretty fed up to be sure, it's the damm anger I feel that will be it till the day I die. I so appreciate your wonderful letter to me and so grateful you are helping to releive me some as a kettle will blow if it isn't tended to. Please just know I am your friend in a special way from here on out , thank you dearest. You are so compassionant and have made my day just being there for me as you are , caring. Hug's to you sweetie.

Your so wonderful, how I wish I could just hug you but you can know I am in spirit holding you dearly as you care, no-one has ever given me such peace with their heart before, I thank you dearest friend.