I Cant Go On

my wife left me, i just finished work, got home, after a while she came in and told me she wasnt happy and within 2 hours she got her family to come collect all her stuff and left me absolutely devastated. we have been really happy for 14 years, been through quite a lot together, she has a daughter from a previous marriage which i have brought up from 3 months old.
i worked tirelessly, and made a home for both of them to enjoy. they never wanted for anything, i love them so much i cant bare life without them, i really dont think i can carry on anymore. we never argued, i never raised my voice, and really thought my life was complete.
now they have gone, i really have no reason to go on. every second without them is torture.
i really did not know of anything that i did wrong, probably to love them too much i suppose, now i really feel that my life has come to an end.
tugtaylor tugtaylor
51-55
1 Response May 23, 2012

on october 6, 2013 my wife intentionally left the backdoor open hoping our dogs would run off. Brian did run off, he got hit by a car right in front of the building and died in my arms. It was never the same between us, i came to hate the very sight of her.

We have been together for 15 years. The last nine of them have been more or less sexless. She would go long, long periods without taking a shower--months. She dressed like a pig and we mean to me all the time.

She left the back door open because she was mad that I was sick and she had to go to the grocery store. Because of that my beautiful Rhodesian Ridgeback died in the street.

Today is Thanksgiving and I threw her out. I had planned on letting her stay until the first of the year but she started slipping back into old patterns and one thing led to another and at 10.30 this morning she left.

It had to be done but now i am probably going to lose everything. We are poor people. She paid half the bills but the fighting was getting really, really bad and I was thinking about killing her.

I am an ex con and spent a total of 14 years in jails and prisons for violent crimes. I turned my life around and haven't been locked up in 20 years. I admit a lot of this is Lisa's doing. She helped me a lot.

Lisa changed drastically though. She used to dress so ******* sexy and the sex was outrageous, then one day everything changed. I clearly remember the day. We just bought a new air conditioner at wal-mart and when I was putting it in the just informed me that we were going to be having a lot less sex.

She meant it too. There were a few times we went a year without doing anything. I thought I'd do the right thing and let her make the first move. needless to say she never did.

I don't know what in the heck is going to happen now. The utilities are in her name and the second she gets a hold of her caseworker that **** will be shutoff. She has a caseworker because she can't read or write, she can't do the most basic of math--nothing. Suffice it to say Lisa has a learning disability but that never mattered because she really did used to be one hell of a good GF, until that day and nothing was the same ever since.

After Brian died I tried to throw her out. She promised she would change. She promised she would start taking showers and taking care of herself and our apartment. She used to be such a clean freak, that all changed too.

She did start taking showers and dressing halfway decent but I never forgave her for leaving that door open--like I said--she admitted she left it open on purpose.

And I just don't love her anymore. Even though she has been dressing sexy... i think it's a matter of too little too late.

Did I do the right thing? If i lose my dogs because of this it will destroy me because God knows I dearly love them. She will probably want to come back and although I hate her I am so worried about my dogs--she knows this too. What a ******* mess.