The Ex And The Altercation

My child (now an adult) and her s.o. had an altercation with my ex and his s.o. My child now tells me (hey, I wasn't there, I only found out second/third reports from others) that the s.o. is a liar about the whole altercation. Now, we all know that there is always some truth embedded in lies, so I vaguely believe SOME of what the s.o. says (she called me, now 6 weeks later to tell me "if you had seen what we went through, you would have never let her move with this person so far away." I told her, "yes, but no one called me, no one bothered to let ME know, and now you are telling me this." (oh god, do I see DUMB people!) The child told me also, yesterday, that the ex is so afraid of his girlfriend that he never ever speaks to his children without her there on speakerphone. She was driving my child nuts with texts and finally my child (yes, okay, daughter) called her dad at work and confronted him about what the gf was doing and he said none of what she said was true. Then went home and THEY had a big fight over the kids. Bottom line issue: the ex has definitely got a problem. He has roped himself into a relationship and refuses to get out of it simply because he doesn't want to be alone. He is so effing afraid to speak to ME because of HER. Now can anyone allow their life to get that tied up, because they are afraid of themself and what they would find if they were to sit still long enough to find themselves? I would love to sit and talk to him about this, but her opinion reigns. We had always gotten along, I just suffocated which is why I left. I'd consider being a family again (not that this is a choice because of the way he allows his life to be trapped), but I'm sitting here thinking, "what am I, nuts? Why would I want to tie my spirit back down, just for the sake of my earthly identity?" Why oh why do we think we need this type of relationship? Why has Hollywood and Grimm's Fairy Tales done this to us--taught us that life is not complete unless you have someone to love and belong to???? And, you know what I WANT you to tell me back???? I want someone to say, "yes, there is someone out there, keep flying, like the bird that follows the migration. It's there, somewhere. Seek and you will find."
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May 6, 2012