Bad Bad Interview

My current job is not bad. It's not good either. And I feel like I'm deteriorating mentally. I want to be in a place where I can use my brains and be around smarter people. So I apply. First, it's impossible to get called for interviews.Then, when I do, I go and mess it all up thanks to my newly found fear of case interviews.
This is not a cool phobia to have. It's not like the triskaidekaphobia. Or even bufonophobia and syngenesophobia (that's toads and relatives). Don't ask me why I thought of both in the same breath.
But I digress. The point is, I have a case-interview phobia. Everytime I give a case interview, my mind jams up and turns off. I'm left umming and aahing and making a mass of stuttering stupidity of myself.

A stunning example of that follows here. I woke up this morning, all set for a cracker case interview. Fixed myself up with coffee, a notepad and pen. The guy called. I greeted him with my usual poise and charm. And then the downslide began. He started with a simple due diligence case which I botched up by asking some ridiculous questions. I believe there was a point when he laughed out loud at some of my silliness and I'd no clue how to react. The first case turned out to be a disaster.

My self-confidence shattered, I tried to pick up the pieces with the second case interview. This can't possibly get worse, I told myself. After all, when you're under a pile of bull excreta, there's nothing to make it worse, right?


The ground slowly gave way under me and molten lava came out from beneath. A simple market access case study and I managed to do all the wrong things possible.
Asked the wrong questions.
Asked the most hilariously wrong questions.
Forgot how my sentence started and ended it in a different tense, voice and context.
Didn't take the most obvious hints.

Whew. He's not calling back, that I know for sure. In case any of you folks are hiring a blubbery mass of nervousness, please drop in a mail. I'm apparently a good fit for that!

mercuria mercuria
May 18, 2012