Just Putting Things Out There
I find that I am using the experience project as a way to say what I can't say to others outloud on paper. In a way I think that I am comforted in knowing that other people know how I feel. I worry about doing that too. I ask myself, is writing this stuff for other people to read sort of a way for me to pawn my problems off on someone else. A way to say, here's what's bothering me so now you know so it's a problem to bother you now. How does that help? It seems almost counterintuitive. I don't like to bother other people with my problems yet I would do something that is likely to do just that. I don't think sometimes and doing that just seems like one of those times. It's amazing how the littlest things bother me. I really just want to get all of this off my mind without hurting or bothering someone else. I don't need people to feel sorry for me or anything because there is nothing to feel sorry for. As bad as I feel sometimes there are people who are far worse and actually have reasons to feel the way they do. I have lots to be thankful for even if I don't seem very thankful. I just need a way to get it all out without risk to myself or to someone else.