It's Lonely Being Someone Else.

I grew up in a small town, where everyone knew everyone, and at age 12, I had to stop being me. I never thought that I was any different than any of my friends, until the day my father bought a pool, and put it up in our back yard. I can vividly remember my mother, in front of my friends, "say, you have the breasts of a 12 year old girl". This is the day that changed my life, and how I felt, and still feel about myself today.  You might imagine that you know how this would make you feel, but unless you have been there, I am certain you cannot. If you have not figured it out yet, I have gynecomastia, (man boobs), which requires surgery to get rid of. I am 48 years old, and I still tell people the lies, like, I don't like to swim, I stay out of the sun, because it's bad for you, I like wearing flannel shirts everyday. I smile at everyone, everyday, and put on the happy face. I truly believe that the people I work with, like me, they come to me for advice, and invite me out to eat, and to clubs, and get the picture. Well, I don't go, because I am forced to be this people person hermit. I am very social, but I fear that my secret could get out. In reality, they probably know, but, just don't say anything. I have been divorced for 15 years, and I have not dated simply because of my secret. I have become over weight, and lazy because of this. I was divorced for several reasons, but the most prevalent to me is the fact that she used to call me fat, when I weighed 160 lbs. I did appear to be fat, but the fact is, I was in very good condition, I just had man boobs.   I am not sure what do do, I do not have the $10000.00 for surgery, so I guess I am stuck with this life. I just want someone to accept me and let me be me.

Sorry for the rambling. I was just feeling the loneliness tonight.
Bantamman Bantamman
46-50, M
8 Responses Mar 16, 2012

UPDATE<br />
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I had surgery on April 12th. I have not been this happy in years. I walked out of the hospital, for the first time in over 3o years, with one (1) shirt on. Man what a difference. My pocket is about $5700 lighter, but it was well worth it. <br />
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I really believe it is the things that you don't do that you will regret the most. Go for the surgery. Since it is having such a major impact on your life, it is better to deal with your issues and maybe enjoy your life more rather than live with financial security and probably die with an inheritance.<br />
How about India or Mexico? They have very reputable surgeons and you could incorporate a great vacation with a necessary procedure. I also think if is worth mentioning that we all say stupid and unthoughtful things at times, even mothers. I know your mother hurt you, but unless she is really an awful person I don't think she has a clue how much she has scared you and would probably take it back in a heart beat if she knew how much it would impact you. Regardless, gynecomastia is a medical condition, not a personal failure!

If doing the surgery will help your self esteem, go for it. If you cannot afford it now, you can prepare for it. Thank you for sharing the stories and you have my support.

4 000 euroes should be enough! The prices i found were in dollars. Hope you get the answer soon! I'm sure everything will be just fine!

oh i see! Maybe to eastern Europe then? They have good surgeons and prices aren't as high! Do some research!

I have spoken with Doctors in Prague, and Poland, and I sent them pics, I am waiting on their reply. Maybe they'll be cheap enough. I have saved about 4000 euro. I am hoping it is enough, I have been wanting to do the surgery for a very long time.

Thats alot of money, but im sure you will come up with some eventually :)<br />
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I cannot imagine how you feel either, sounds really terrible.

The cost of this type of surgery is not going to be cheap at all. In fact, current estimates put the price tag of this surgery between $3000 and $5000. While that does sound a lot and is a lot, do remember that this is actually a reduction from previous costs when this surgery was still not as popular as it is today. Of course, the more men who elect to get this surgery in the future, the more that the price tag will also come down even further.<br />
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I just found this. So wanted to copy to you. So it's not 10 000! Start saving! Good luck. (at least you have something that can be changed, you're a lucky man!) Cheer up!

That is the cost for the liposuction only, they have to remove the glandular tissue also, I have gotten real estimates. The prices listed on the internet are not the true cost. There is follow-up costs, pressure garment, and medications. Also I live in Germany, and would have to travel for the surgery

I don't know how helpful this is since I am a young girl, but what helps me through insecurities is joking about it. Come out to the world and just make jokes, people will probably stop putting you in awkward situations and women might admire your confidence. Just a suggestion though your problem is more difficult than mine to get through