Eating Diorder

it has been a long time since i havent throwned up or not eating anything. i thought my diorder was gone, and just like that i ate so much, too much. i took a hot shower and stucked the toothbrush down my throat. i felt bad and cried, i hate crying. then i went to sleep and got to school, but when i saw my friends face, the tears came streaming down. i never crie in public, i felt like such a fool. but then i remembered a quote "when someone cries is not because their weak, its because they have been strong for too long." i talked to my best friend she already know all bout my eating disorders, i have had it since 8th grade. it went away last year but some days i excersice too much and often i feel like im not good enough. i have anxiety, and a **** load of personal problems. my dad left when i was 1, i moved to the US when 8, i was living from family to family for 2 years and when i was 12 i moved into the new trailer my mom bought (i still live in it) and got a new dad. but my mom had to move when i was 13 in 8th grade. and thats when i got drepressed and started cutting, and not eating. my freshmen year my got back and alot of things got better but my diorders where still there, and last summer i cut out of madness, wrong thing to do. i talked to my stepdad about it. and i havent cut ever since, but not feeling good enough gets me back with my love affair of not eating.
frriddah frriddah
18-21, F
Dec 12, 2012