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I Need A True Friend!

I need someone who I can talk to openly. It's not that I don't have friends I do I just don't have anyone that I can really talk too and I'm pushing every one away as I find it hard to trust anyone at all! The people around me are just selfish, I'm a kind caring generous person but everyone seems to take advantage of that and that's why I've had enough! My "friends" will only ever ring me if they need something or if they need a favour! I'm sick n tired of being used! Even if I try and tell them what's wrong they don't make me feel better or help me with my problems and even when they know I'm going through a tough time they won't ask if everything is ok! I don't matter to any one and I'm getting a bit lonely now! I hate spending every day on my own I try and keep myself busy but nothing can hide the fact that I am alone! I try to be happy n just get on with it but nothing seems to make me smile any more!! I've been alone and depressed for 2 years and it feels like a lifetime! I hate my life!!
Gilse59 Gilse59 18-21, F 54 Responses Jan 13, 2013

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I feel the exact same way. I'll be your friend. :-)

What I am about to tell you may come across as a bit callous (many people tell me that I am too blunt), but I trust that because you're a man--you can take it. First, I'm in the same boat you're in concerning the whole "friend issue". I'm friendless, and have been for decades. I share your viewpoints on what constitutes a friend. At one point in my life, I battled depression. I overcame it drug-free: I changed my thinking. The truth is, most people adhere to the social norms shaped by what our culture deems popular and desired. The question begs to be asked, "who shapes our culture?" Answer: The many facets of the entertainment industry and the media. Look how people walk, talk, dress, eat, make purchasing decisions, etc......it originates with the moguls that make today's culture what they want it to be, and 95% of us buy into it.
When I realized this, it validated that my depression was not really my fault--and with that, it left. This further validated that depression is not always related to some chemical imbalance, but rather the social environment in which we live (I'd wager this is the reason most of the time).
Now, have I been used by others in a thankless manner? Many times. Was I offended? Yes, but not now. Why not? Rational answer: It is a character flaw in the "one who uses others" called selfishness/conceit. Trust me, they are not worth your time. Loneliness is what is to be expected-we are all human, after all.
The bottom line is that your problems you are facing are not due to you/your actions, but rather are from the effects of prolonged rejection and maltreatment from those you come into contact with. I think the way you feel is normal considering that. You might want to tell those you see in person how they have done you wrong: a true friend would apologize and correct the matter. A foe will defend his offences. If they are foes, cut them from your life and don't hold a grudge--a grudge will ALWAYS own you. Water under the bridge, man. I may never meet you in person, but what I have said has been as a friend--sincerely.

I feel the same way as you do.

I have seen I am younger than you but I have been in the same place. I have been used by so called "friends" for being a decent person and for me it can hurt more than someone trying to be horrid. You are not alone out there and you can talk about it.

message me. im ready to talk with u.

I understand you, and believe me, life can be better, there is something or someone that will bring light to your life, make you feel wanted, respected and warm inside. Just keep looking, and don't give up

honestly just saying that human beings Are sometimes too sensitive to the pain of this world.no I'm not advocating suicide. and I feel really blessed because I do have really true friends who care about me. but I recently lost my mom. and I get lonely to talk with her and get her point of view about my life things around me. my advice to you to try to find people with like minded surround your life. you get out of life what you put in it. you open yourself up to life experience you can find true happiness and peace. good luck on finding that. life is too short to be all alone. find things that you enjoy. like music poetry or nature. good luck to you. may this life bring you all the joy and happiness what you bring to others.

Live to experience, then use your experience to live... We live in no perfect world, if we are not challenged we don't progress, we don't think, we don't invent... But yeah you need to express all the inner feelings then go ahead

Honesty I am/in the same place right now. What from what I have learnt from all of my experiences is to tell them how you feel and give them the choice. Are you my friend or not? it will maybe put the spot with them wanting to use you and saying ok bye then! I am in and have been depressed for a while even though I have been able to hide it. All you need is a plastic smile. Good luck

man, that's got to be a tough space to be in. i don't know if i can be of any real help, i'm 54 years old, a guy on disability because of general depressive disorder (don't you just love the names for these things that they come up with?), but i can certainly relate to how you feel. i know from being in that space that you can't be talked out of it. depression is a state of mind, but it is also very real. after all, our perception of reality is our perceived reality. we may be delusional, but we interpret what we think we perceive as reality. very few of us realize this or bother to make the distinction, but i have been forced to examine these issues at some length. we are each of us alone; and we are truly blessed to find a single, true, unconditionally loving friend. i myself have managed to salvage a handful of such relationships in my 54 years here, and that only because i'm very lucky and because i have struggled long and hard to love myself, ( even though at certain levels, i still hate myself, or at least parts of myself). the real answer seems to somehow come from within our own hearts.. if we decide to be happy, in and of ourselves, for ourselves, then somehow that opens the door to self love, which enables us to truly love others. i feel that you are a strong and beautiful person. you could not feel the depths that you express if you did not have the capacity for real love within you. no one can explain it to you:not i, not your parents, not your teachers, not your preachers, not your friends. thou art god(dess), sister,whether you like it or not, and love, and life itself only has the value and meaning that you assign to it. please be careful and do well. the rest of us are depending on it! thanks.....e

I can remember exact moments like that in my life. It was when I truly knew who were my true friend. Needless to say i got rid of most of those friends and made friends that care about me to this day. I hope you can find someone in your area that is willing to be a true friend, but in the mean time I'm more than happy to be that person online for you :)

sorry u are sad, and lonely. sorry u have not been able to associate with supportive friends. and lastly sorry u need so much, and no one is helping u. that said.
why is it that u are lonely? we can be in a room full of people and be lonely (we either don't want to be there, we are bored, we were dragged there, wife insisted I attend he corporate party--whatever) loneliness is a condition, one that we at times create. and at times just befalls us, and it is possible to have a mix (self fulfilling prophecy is what it is called in other circles). u mention u are a giving person, somehow this is not reciprocated. did u ask your needs be met. did u minimize circumstance and feelings from u r friends? if u r friends do not know, your struggles, they cannot help u. if your friends do not know how u are feeling they cannot act on your behalf. at times we deprive ourselves of help because we fail to fess up to our friends what we are experiencing. I believe if u called or texted or e-mailed one of your friends they would try to do something even if small for u. try this, all we need to do is reac

And what to start my on circle of trust how do I do that let me know plz

Hey how you? I'm ash here's a poem 4 yuo A friend is a friend I will not regret meeting A friend like you is a Friend I can not screem or yel at or fight with A friend like you I have no worries in my life A friend like you is a friend in need a Friend like you is a friend I do not what to loos a friend like you is a friend I always wanted a friend like you is a friend I cam call when I want to tell a secret.A friend like you is a friend that will laugh at my dumb jokes and dumb things I do a friend like you is a friend I'm proud to call my best friend 1000 %

I'm here if you need someone to talk to!
I know how you feel. I hate the feeling.
Its like no one cares about you until they need something from you....

well im here as a friend and I would like to be friends =]

I am in the same situation as urs, I m desperately in need of a friend, All I need is to talk, share and cry out loud, m too alone in my life and this loneliness is killing me...I need sum one to tok to, to let out everything thatz keeping ma heart heavy, I need a good friend, though I am surrounded with so many, jus as u said, no one really cares! World is filled with too many self-centered people and I keep searching for true relations in such a crowd, I noe I keep failing but I dont stop trials dunno y! be my friend if you dont mind, i can assure u as a good friend I wud do my best to keep u happy at least through words :) cheerz

hey riya, i was just surfing around through this experience project thing checking every body out and talking to people, and i wrote a response to Gilse59, and then noticed that you had, too. i liked what you had to say and i appreciate that there are people out there like you who care. you know, if you guys really check this site out, you will see that you are not alone; that there are brothers and sisters out there all over the place. love is just as real as we dare to reach into the depths of our hearts and make it. bless you all and be strong and happy!.......e

I know how you’re feeling and I send a “hug” to you – I too need a friend……

II know how you’re feeling and I send a “hug” to you – I too need a friend……

I'm also in the same situation where i have never had anyone to talk to :( i do my best to stay cheerful but all the emotions and thought i have bottled up inside suck.I workout a lot to help me stay happy, when i don't workout i start feeling depressed and lonely.I have always wanted to have a friend that would listen to me and actually care,i honestly barely trust anyone so therefore i don't share much with people when i do talk.I think the only person i could go to to talk is a therapist,that seems like the best idea since people will always judge you.I don't want to take a risk of confining in someone than regret it later on in life because they trash talk me.If you want someone to talk to to just rant or let something out i am all ears,and i actually care about people, and i listen.I have always wanted to find a friend i could tell anything and not be hated or treated differently or judged.So i know what its like that you would want the same.

I'm on this looking for a friendship also. Just a good friend nothing more. I'm happy with my kids and husband but sometimes I just a girl friend to talk to.

u still young my love dont hate your life God will make a way..... if u pray n hve faith coz anything is too difficult for him. if u believe he will show u the right person at the right time. Dont be desperate!! keep riding with our father, no good father gives bad gifts to the children. it is well with u!

Like my friend fogiest said. Except one drawback. It won't solve your problem. Boyfriends can be complicated and a husband can be even more complicated. True friends only come once in a lifetime.

You should make a boy friend or get married, simple way to overcome this problem is don't expect to much from people. In fact this world is selfish including you and me too, so except this reality try to be rational. When you get to much nice and caring people start using such kind of person be little bit tough, thats how you can prevent people to use you. If some one don't care you you also show them you don't need them too.Make your nerves strong.

I will be your friend. I will always be there to just listen if you need to talk. I am in the same boat as you, I only hear from friends when they want something. I spend most of my time by myself.

this sounds exactly like what i put up with! its crazy because once you try to talk they don't listen

I would like to hae you as a friend. As long as we accept each other as we are. To be up front with you I'll let you in on 2 of my deepest secerts now. I love to wear womens clothes and I esspecally like wearing pantyhose. I aslo know how you feel because I'm bipolar.

I like to be your friend ,one that you can be open to and share anything while others won't understand you,i hope we can talk soon (;

first of all tnx for that story. I can relate myself to it right now where I seem to be living in hell. I cant get no one to talk to about my problem not even my parents and friend(whom I doesnt know if they are real friends) :-( as u would believe. My life sucks right now but still I get to find a company through rock music, video games, and reading Teenage Liberation Handbook, - at least a little remedy to heal the pain. BTW what you're feeling is what exactly im feeling right now to be honest. You could be a good friend if u are open to hear anyones prob pretty much, and I would too.

workouts help heal the pain too! its my remedy :)
and i totally understand because we are in the same boat.Its hard to find a true friend! still haven't found one

hi.. mind to be a friend of mine..?

i hate my life too so i want to be your friend

u have me hun

hi

I'm really sorry to hear this :( Sometimes you're at your loneliest when the people around you just stop caring. People seem to do that a lot these days. I keep myself happy by getting a pet, like a dog. Dogs are loyal no matter what, unlike most people. If you don't have one already, try it :) Dogs are the best!

I'm a young person like you. I struggle with this type of situation feeling as if I have no true friend I can depend on. It's true you can not tell you issues to anyone and everyone. I realise that we tend to look for a friend when we already have one which is ourselves. One day you will find a true friend, but for now continue to be the person you are. God bless!

i also need some one to trust and i can tell them things i iave held insidd

I live a dead lonely life. There's no hope for me, I'm too old to find anyone, but I hope you do.

Oh don't be silly you are never too old for anything! Your still human so your still capable. Hang in there maybe you just need to make yourself more known to others.

i do know what it feels like when a real friend dont understand you...do add me for a friend...you can decide where you wanna put me.. a good friend or something else :)...
smile...

Wow, this is exactly how i am feeling. I have no one to talk to. My best friend (well my only friend) i realised is a selfish *******. It's his birthday today and i guess he will be phoning me asking what time i am taking him out. Yeah more expense for me. He never even gave me a ******* xmas card! :(

P.S sorry for the swearing and the rant! :-P

Not a problem rant away :) Well you should make the least amount of effort if he never makes the effort with you. You can always talk to me :) he is obviously not a true friend... Try not to spend time with people who don't appreciate you it can get you very down. For me I'd rather be alone then be around people and be unhappy.

You can talk to me im always on

Thank you :) I am feeling much better since I posted this. Feel free to chat if you need to too :)

:-)

Oh wow, you just perfectly described me as well on your post. the past 2 years of my life have been miserable.. i hate my life right now

A true friend sticks with you both in good times as well as the bad days . He/ she could be more loving and understanding even than biological relations. The fact is there are still true friends around just that they are few and very hard to find but keep on the search for it very worth it. You can get a true friend by choosing your friends wisely and slowly. Also you need to be the change you want see in the world by trying to be good friend to someone.

I wish you good luck in your search and always remember it is possibly finding one- the world still contains people with the right heart.

There are the givers and takeers in this world. Worst thing is the ones you are closes to often are the takers and leave you empty. I too have many that drain as much from me as possible and move on. Hard to belive they are the ones I love the most.

Been finding other things to fill me up and stay some distance from the vacumns that are around me.

Wish there was more I could say to make you feel better but we are the ones that help the others keep going. I am tired of it as well.

Hope all is well?

hey, let's get along!:)

U are not alone I had been alone for three years and yes it can be lonely.i have a boy friend now been seeing each other for a month and now I realy cant figure him out kind of wish I waited so take your time looking so it could be the right one

I feel your pain. I've been walking in your shoes most of my life. What took me years to learn is this, chose your friends more wisely, if they ask you for anything right from the get go, it's time to walk away, gracefully. Far too often needy people play on the kindness and generosity of others, like yourself, as they did me. I have many people in and out of my life because I chose to walk. Take what you learn from them and use it as your weapon. You are still so young, but yet so wise already to those who are "dangerous" play in your life. What I have found is that the less you say, the less you talk, the less you will be taken for granted. True friends don't ask for a thing, and they don't pry into your life either, they are just there to be friends and nothing more.

Keep your head up, you are on the right track to seeing what you don't want in your life. Be happy, and make your own happiness. Good luck, and be strong.

Thank you so much :)

I rarely maintain contact with people who do not reciprocate my friendship. I realized that this is their problem. I prefer to go the same for coffee and try to meet someone interesting than dating and someone to underestimate. Let me tell you it is not worth wasting power on bad friends. I have such a rule is that the more I recognize myself, the better I have contacts with people. It can not be caught up in relationships where the other side is selfish. How have you yourself are free.
Today I found the slogan "Do not deprive yourself of a happy day, a precious object of desire does not let you bypass.
Do you leave the other fruit of your work and efforts to share your fate? "
You're too valuable a person to have friends who only want something from you.

You can add me on Facebook or here. I do believe that a person is always alone, having friends or not, by the end of the day we are the only ones in our own bed. Within each passing moments you can see friends are bound to go away, friends are bound to find new friends. Why dwell within such period when there are so many possibilities and choices. I am quite blessed to be in the society I am in because I have many true friends. Although we departed, we still check in with each other, we are still each other shoulders and still be able to just be childish to one another. All that aside, they got their lives while we got ours. While we smiled and laughed together, we each know that we have to let each other shine within their own light and I know that from all the people you have encountered in your lives, matter not strangers, neighbors or relatives, there will always be that one times when they reflected back and we are in the background. By then you would have taken many steps forward. Just look within the comments you have got. You may not have the friends that are face to face, but you got the friends that been through what u have gone through and there, you have your answer. The people that walk their lives while experiencing the same thing you experienced. Friends from a distance, friends all the same when one share the same pain. Maybe that can be the thing that you hold on to or find one thing better. Just smile friend because no one is truly alone and no one is truly always among friends, because one have to be friend to oneself first before one can be to others. :)

I feel quite the same way. It's an emotional cave in because it feels like you're being taken advantage of when in essence, we are too nice. All we want to do is help. Yet, if not most then sometimes that is a one way avenue. Not everyone helped appreciates it and you are spread thin because you want to help too much. When you notice this is not healthy, and you change, in anyway you are seen in a different light. It's hard to stand up and and stand alone after being in a position where you are their helping hand.
Sometimes it gets to a point where you want to give up on people (or at least some). You push them away and don't want to do anything with anyone. Well, I got to this page while Google searching the notion "I feel the world is against me" which led me to this post... yet I also found a quote I read: "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." - Mahatma Gandhi
This saying is quite true really. In general most humans want good for themselves and others. There are a few polluted souls but put them aside.There are more who care to do and be good people than those who do not. I guess all in all, what I'm saying is there are others who feel like you, I feel like you do, don't give up and keep the faith! Most of all... you are NOT alone! You are with others who know what you feel and care.

There are people out there who are 'emotional vampires.' This means they take, take, take and will not give in return. I know of people that have always expected me to listen to their problems and never help me in return. You have to cut toxic people out of your life! As I read in a quote recently, 'Raise the rent and kick them out.'

This helped me a lot. Thank you! I'm glad it is not just me who is surrounded by these people I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me! Thank you :)

I will listen and be a friend. Everyone needs someone that will listen to them. I think I can be that person for you. No one should take advantage of a good friend. I would be honored if you would allow me to be a friend to you.

I will be over the moon for you to be my friend :)

Be glad to be there for you when you need me

:). I'm here whenever you want to talk! :)

You know don't hate your self just because of friends. You didn't do anything wrong. Friendship is two ways and for some it's one way . There's a lot of us who is loyal and generous but unfortunately we are only being used for our friends convenience.

Move on and go out there someone will appreciate you for who you are but not for what they can take from you.

I can be your friend email me anytime and we can talk . Good luck to you .

Thank you, I will move on and leave those "friends" behind.i hope one day someone will appreciate me! Thank you so much :) you have put a smile on my face!

I am in the same phase. If anyone asks for help I cant deny ..this is the reason why most of my the people around me take me for granted. I had a friend for whom i cared a lot.I always wished to get the same back but never did this happen.For 5 years I maintained the one sided friendship. but then somethings happened which i could not take in anymore and i realized that it would be better to be alone than to be with such people.

Well, I'm always here if you need someone to talk too. And I'm sure many others would be willing to listen as well. I've been feeling exactly the same way about my freinds lately. I'm not sure if it's me being paranoid, or if they are actually just lacking in good friendship qualities. Please don't hate life, it is really the little things that make it big. Focus on the smaller stuff, and the bigger problems will work themselves out.