Real Talk: Speaking To Myself

Something is very wrong with you. Every relationship you are in is called “unhealthy”. And each one ends in tears, heartache, and utter sadness. You move on quickly to try and mask the pain. But when you are in bed with the new person, you are missing the last one. It’s pretty ****** up and hurtful to act that way. Although it’s obvious your intentions are not to hurt anyone. You do what you do to cope with pain. It isn’t right to most people but it’s the only thing you know to do. What else do people do after a breakup? Hang out with friends? Go out? Ya, we all know you don’t have any friends so lets just scratch that idea. So what should you do after a breakup? Cry, drink and eat chocolate? Well that does sound tempting but aren’t you trying to lose weight so you aren’t such a disgusting pile of fat? Right so maybe skip the chocolate. You can have alcohol just don’t eat anything. Oh you were making progress with being a happy person prior to this relationship ending right? Ya, that’s gone now. Get used to life sucking and that’s because you suck. No one wants you, at least not for very long. Is it you they don’t want or is it your ******* kids? It’s probably you. You are pretty much worthless. Although your kids are terrible just like you. No one is ever going to love you. Not really, not the way you are wanting. What is it you are wanting again? Someone who loves you and acts like it? Someone who treats you like you are the best thing that’s ever happened to them? Someone who appreciates you? Someone who is attracted to you and wants to have sex with you frequently? Ya that’s asking way too much. You don’t deserve anything close to that. What you deserve is a combination of what you have had. Let’s combine the “best” qualities of all your ex’s and make them into one ideal guy for you. Ready? Here’s your Female seeking male ad:
Wanted: Man aged 25-30 must be physically and verbally abusive. Must be verbally abusive to children. Must cheat on me. Must use me for what little money I have. Must not actually have ambitions in life. Must show no or very little affection towards me. Must NEVER buy me things or surprise me with anything special or out of the ordinary. This ***** doesn’t deserve that.

Does that sound about right? Yep, I think that covers all of them. So if we could just find a guy like that…then your life would be great. Right? Maybe not. Look, what you are wanting is not something that will ever happen. What you are wanting is perfection…with flaws. What you are wanting is totally unreasonable! Let’s post an ad of the fairy tale you are wanting:
Wanted: Man aged 25-30. Must love children, be patient kind and loving. Must be aggressive in the bedroom and love frequent sex. Must be faithful. Must value me for all that I am, love me unconditionally and not take me for granted. Must occasionally do something special or out of the ordinary for me without being prompted, do it just because you are thinking about me. Must have flaws. Must not be perfect at everything you do but you must always try and strive to be a better person. Encourage me when I am down and expect all of my expectations from me as well. (except the part about being a man…and I’m 24)
Okay see, that is outrageous! No one is going to be like that. Not for you anyways. What makes you think you deserve this? Seriously, clearly you are a stupid ***** because you have been in love before with guys you thought were perfect. They wouldn’t treat you this way? That’s because you don’t deserve it. So don’t believe any bullshit lines like “you can find better than me” or “someone will give you what you are looking for”. That’s a crock of ****. In reality your life is going to suck and continue to suck for a very long time. You will find more guys you think are great, they will break your heart and you will find yourself alone again. Every time. You want to be married? You want someone to dedicate their life to YOU??? HA! That will not happen. You are a terrible person. No one will commit to that. They stay with you long enough to figure out you are a crazy ***** and then they leave you. Or they just push you to leave. But regardless, they are done with you. Your purpose has been served. The only reason guys are ever interested in you is because you like sex and you can be entertaining sometimes. That gets old quick though. Maybe you should go ahead and kill yourself. Seriously, you think you have a chance at a good life? A promotion, a raise, a degree, a husband?? NOPE. GIVE UP, IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN FOR YOU. No one will ever love you or want you. Not enough to satisfy you. So just do it. Just do everyone who knows you a favor…..
ambmo1 ambmo1
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 23, 2013

Let me just say this up front. I don't want any comments about GOD or religion. I am agnostic, totally not interested in hearing about how God can take my problems and make them all better. So if that's what you are going to say don't freaking bother. PLEASE