7/13/10

So as I am typing this I only have minutes left of 7/13/10 which is my birthday. A birthday, a day that we should be happy. A day that should be special. A day that you should be surrounded by your family and friends. Not a day that you really see how pathetic of a life you live. It could have been worse and I have had a few of those. See this year I didn't expect anything so I wouldn't get disappointed when I didn't get it. So, it worked I wasn't as upset as in past years.
I had a handfull of friends on facebook say Happy Birthday, 2 out of 3 children remembered, I only had to say something to 1 of them....lol. I had a couple of texts and an email. So not too shabby.
I did nothing, which was kind of nice in a way. I tried to buy a new summer dress but didn't find anything that I liked. I took myself out for a steak dinner and that was my day.
I received a card from my mother and a few others such as my 2 part time jobs and my insurance company. But I didn't receive anything from my full time job or my best friends.
I would love to have a surprise party or at least my bestest friends to get together with me. I really would love to be the center of attention for once, (in a nice way). I would love to actually get presents and not me buying what I want. I have to do that for Christmas too if I want something....lol. Again pathetic. I would love to have people who wanted to do something for me. Days like today is what makes you think about your life and makes me think is this how it'll be when I die....nobody there for that also? My grandmother's funeral was like that, only me, my 2 sisters and our mother were at our grandmothers funeral. I think that's sad.
Unfortunately over the years I have learned that it's just another day.......how sad is that? It's just another day, just like Christams, Thanksgiving and other Holidays and special events. Those days are only important if it is to somebody else, because for me if I try to get excited over something it all goes backwards.
Yippee my birthday is over, just another day and a year older with nobody around. (So I'm being a little sad, it's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to....)lol. :)
I hope when it's your birthday you get what you want, thank you for reading.
jrabbit1321 jrabbit1321
46-50, F
2 Responses Jul 13, 2010

My suggestion.....don't make it another 13 yrs :) and maybe don't use Phillip so much or at least pass it around :)

I just had my 30th birthday on 8/15... Reading your entry pretty much cover's how mine was, again. I definately chose this life of secluding myself as far as not feeling like anything besides killing the pain, sucking on Phillip (Phillip is my best friend) or otherwise known as "PHILLIP MY PIPE" ---fill up my pipe. seems like I should get up out of this 13 years now hole............. I love ya already