Just Some Thoughts About Frindshipand Venting

I feel betrade by my people lately. Some people are people I considered friends. I have for most of my life used "friends" lossly because not many people should be considered that titale. Being a friend should be a privaledge for all parties concerned. Friends I think should be people you can trust, people who have your back even if you are wrong. There is an email roaming around out there that says something along that lines of...."a friend is someone who will be sitting next to you in the jail cell." Ok, I'm not sure I have a person in my life that I would be willing to sit right next to in jail, but, I do have a few that I would help as much as I could from the outside world and visit. So am I a true friend? I don't know. Maybe maybe not. How do you tell or know?
I feel that a true friend will stand by you for many things, jail may be a little extreme but sometimes you just have to know whats right and wrong. But someone who will help you as much as they can and not expect anything back in return, (if it happens thats great, but expect, no). A friend is somebody who does things for and with you just because they know it'll make you happy. A friend will let you cry on their shoulder even if they don't agree but sees that it makes you upset. A friend will tell you when you don't look appropriate when you go out together, but when you don't want to change they'll still be willing to be seen in public with you :) A friend is somebody who just knows when you are having a bad day and does something stupid to try to make you smile. These are some of the things that I think makes a friend.
So what happens when you have put people in that catagory and they fail you? Fail you in by telling your secrets to others. Fail you by not having your back. Fail you by lieing to to you. How should you feel about that? Like you've been betrayed again? Like you don't know how to pick real friends? Like we are all human and make mistakes, but this wasn't the first time they screwed up in your eyes? How many times do we give them another chance only to repeat or do something else that in your eyes is wrong? I don't know anymore. I'm tired of putting myself out there to just get it thrown back in my face. The people that I work with and even the company I work for seem to be out for themselves. Ok, I work for a large corporation and that is what they are there for, themselves. But, the propaganda that they spew sometimes gives me hope that they are a bit of a real deal company. The core values of the company are fabulious and they are the way that I have tried to always treat people an dto handle myself. But, the store i work in is just horrible. I suppose it could be worse, but why can't it be better. Why do the people look for ways to screw others instead of working together. Our culture has over the yrs created a country of people who no longer are there to help each other but to help themselves, and that is exactly how this place is. (which is totally against the values of the company).
Do the right thing...if it is legal and ethical, that is what they preach, yet when it comes right down to it, the people in the stores don't even try to follow it. But that comes mostly from management and works it's way down. Do the right thing as long as it's legal and ethical....very meaningfull words I think, but few anywhere seem to follow. And when you try to and get stepped on it just knocks you down another rung.
How do you keep up the energy to do the right thing when you are surrounded by the attitudes of people who only care about themselves? When even when you can prove what is wrong the turn a blind eye? How do you keep up that energy and determination to try to do the right thing when you do not have any support, when you are made the scape goat? And when you turn a bling eye every now and then just because, then you get in trouble for it, but when the tables were turned the blind eye was on the others and not you?
I was mildly betraded again by some of the people I call friends and I'm tired of it, but I'm tired of not having anybody also. I am in a pickle of sorts, I as many others need a job, it is only me, I do not have a signifcate other to rely on for anything from money to emotional support. And as we are all well aware the economy could be much much better. So do I turn a blind eye again, do I keep even more to myself or do I give people another chance? It will probably be a combination of all 3. I just have to remind myself that I can't trust anybody there and let the cards fall where they may. I already know that if and when I am no longer there that the friendships that I truelly loved will probably not stand the test of time and yes that makes me very sad but it probably won't make them sad. Good for them I guess, makes it easier to move on, but sad at the same time becaus ethey will not have realized how special it was to have a "true friend."
jrabbit1321 jrabbit1321
46-50, F
3 Responses Jul 19, 2010

You? a perv? NEVER!!!! lol

:) Thank you LadyT.....I hope we do :)

Its hard to sore with the eagles when you are stuck w/ turkys (or some thing like that) I know what you mean.People are hard to deal with.When you have been burned so many times you are shure it will just happen agaion and again w/o fail.Some place someday maybe we'll meet at least one friend that wont be a jurk.Good luck to us both :)