3:30 In the Morning
I hate being the only one to do everything. I ask for help and don't get it. I have feelings and they get thrown back in my face. I get tired of trying and getting no respect. I am tired of being surrounded by so many two faced people. I hate working with so many back stabbers. All, I do is go to work, try to do my job the best I can, and I feel I get nothing for it. I come home and try to do the right things and I get cut down by my teenagers. Every which way I turn I get smacked. I want to go back, I want to run away, I want to start over, I want to....I don't know. I want respect!!!! I want to feel needed, wanted, loved. I want to be surronded by happy people. It hard to be surrounded by negative people. It's very draining. Why do so many people put the blame on me? Why don't they take responsibility for any part? Why do they turn it all on me? I get scared to even open my mouth. Will they be happy when I have a break down? Will they be happy when I have a heart attack? I need to be independant, and because of situations I do not feel that I am. I need to scream and cry. I need to hit and punch. I need to tell people what I feel and not be made to feel guilty for it. I need a really loving, physical hug. I need to helped. I need to be free. I need to be protected. I need to sleep a real happy healthy sleep. I need to not have responsibilities for a while. All, of this from an agrument at 3:30 in the morning. I should have been asleep. Teenagers, anybody who had/has one knows what they can do to you. It's not always fun.