Roller Coaster? I Want Off!!

I was having one, maybe two panic attacks a month, four years ago. I thought it was a heart attack. Went to the ER and they popped me a Klonopin. Yay! It worked! Then, one Rx for, in case I had another attack, of thirty pills. I moved across the country and life goes on. Enter new doctor. He said I should take the Klonopin to keep the attacks away. Now, three years later, he wanted to up my dose! I was given .50 mg x three a day...BUT, I never took the full dose. Made me too sleepy so I cut them in half. never took more than .25 x 3 a day but have been on them three years. This last year, I had built up a tolerance to them. That is when he said take MORE!
Now, I didn't. I am not stupid. I read a lot! I have been shaving my pills a little each month. Ever so slowly, I am going down in the dose. It has been two months now and I am on the roller coaster ride from hell! I take .25 at nine am....I feel yucky until ten or so then life gets smoother for about an hour. Then it's downhill until 3:30 pm. I force myself to wait for that second .25 pill. Things smooth out until around nine or ten. My last pill is shaved down to .125 mg and I sleep thru the night. I wake up and I hop back on that roller coaster. I know it is dangerous to go cold turkey and I know my dose is very low but I am not you! Even that small of a dose has created misery. I will be dropping the afternoon pill down next month. I know it will take a while but my heart goes out to those who are on higher doses and have struggled to get off Klonopin. I can not imagine taking 10 plus mg a day and more like others I've read about. Even at this low dose, I get brain Zaps and anxiety but have learned deep breathing and walking helps.
Looking back, I would rather have one or two attacks a month than the anxiety I live with every day now. I have lost 20 pounds and am shaky during the day. Evenings, I am at my best. Please! Warn anyone you know who starts on Klonopin about being on them too long!
When you have anxiety or panic attacks, research your life and find out why! Do not cover it up with Klonopin because one day, they will come back at you!
Crazyladynot Crazyladynot
51-55
Sep 16, 2012