As Your World Crumbles

my story I am 50 I've  worked all of my life. I had learned to be indepedent for reasons I will not go into now. some say I was indepent to a fault, my husband of 17 years totally the opposite , never taught about responsibilty no work ethic. he lived for the moment. I have tried to understand us and the 17 years together. He had problems with anger control , his views on life issues just was so different that what I had been taught. But I was not perfect either that's how I met him when I was going through some issues of my own. our life was filled with I'll say turbulence separated twice, ups,downs ins and outs.After mom passed away I thorugh myself into work.Then I went to having health issues. 2006 I was diagnoised with lung diease still working tho but alot of problems.2007 my best friend in the world wasdiagnoised with leukeima feb. Sept.07 I had a episode with my diease and my workplace now seeing me as aliability not asset found awat to fire me. no job no insurance it was just wrong. oct. 07, my best friend more family to me than I ever knew passed on the 13th of oct. I was devasted. Going through appeals court siteing unjust cause of termination.  The supervisor at family service was going throuth all my paperwork and tells me I should go ahead and file for disability I am thinking ther is no way.But I did go ahead and file. Of course my husband could find very little work, I thought it could'nt get any worse than this. But I won my appeal for the termination, then I was sent to the social security doctorsand I felt pretty stupid I didn't realize my health was that bad.My disability started within the month and my husband found a job. I was having a hard time dealing with not working and both he and I was struggling with this life style change . It seemed by aug. of 08 we was figuring it all out.Then on sept. 22 08 he went to work that morning was trying to start a vehicle the carburetor back fired and he was burnt 47% from the waist up.the fire went down is throat and into his lungs, he passed on sept. 29 08. So here I am everything I knew my life as I knew it no more. he was working as ind. independnet worker so no insuance. He was 5 years younger than me . I have tried to figure where I go ,from here some days are good some not. I really nee alife

stilltrying77 stilltrying77
46-50, F
Mar 6, 2010